BOB'S BURN PIT #1

"THE MONSTER CLUB" (1981)

The horror movie anthology genre is full of classics but there’s one that gets buried by the likes of “Creepshow”, “Tales from The Crypt” and all of the Amicus ones... this movie is titled “The Monster Club”.  A gem from 1981 which has 3 great stories and a really great wrap around story to help introduce each mini tale, which were based on stories by author R. Chetwynd-Hayes who is also a character in the wrap around story.  So to start this review on this odd movie lets begin without spoiling too much of the eerie fun. But when done there is more revealed than just telling simple tales!

The wrap around story begins with R. Chetwynd-Hayes (the immortal John Carradine) walking down the street and he is interrupted by Vincent Price who is a vampire and asking for food and the author says he will do anything to help him.  The scene fades and moments later you see Vincent Price standing strong telling the author who lost  consciousness for a moment that he is a vampire and he took a little bit of blood but not enough to turn him into a vampire. He asks the man if he is the famous author who writes all the great books on monsters and horror?  The vampire tells him he will take him to a club that will help him spawn more stories and ideas and they can talk more.  They enter the location of the title…The Monster Club.

They enter this swinging 60’s style club filled with monsters,... well, more like people in very cheap looking Halloween masks dancing to all of the wild 60’s and 70’s crazy dances to various bands throughout the movie.  When they sit down Vincent Price’s character explains the club and the genealogy of the famous monsters and if they mix what type of monster ,they will spawn.  This, then,-no pun intended- spawns the three tales of terror that fill up the rest of this movies running time.  Each having a twist or turn that you may or may not see coming!

The first tale is called “The Shadmock”, which is a creature known to have a very dangerous whistle that is rarely heard. This creature is one of the lower end monsters.  The story begins with a girl being hired by a very wealthy man who lives alone in a huge mansion filled with valuables.  The man secludes himself in his mansion or self imposed jail to avoid the noise of cities and people.  Over time the man...who is The Shadmock... starts to fall for the woman but does not realize that she has a boyfriend at home who wants her to get in good with him to be able to one day rob him.  The rich man asks her for her hand in marriage and then the true nature of the story takes place and the horror, too!  I will not spoil with what comes next but it is not good.  You really do feel the emotion from each character really pushing this tale into something special and eerie.  With a man who is a creature of the night but knows what awful things he can do and a woman who is a tool for a man who is a monster of a different kind.

The second tale is my favorite one,  titled “The Vampire”, and while normally I am not a huge fan of vampire movies since they have been done to death, this tale is really original with its take on things.  The story begins with a father and son playing and then soon the dad has to go off to work the “late” shift.  The son is kept in the dark ,so to say, on what his father does.  He asks and is never given the full truth but is told he is royalty of some kind.  The next day at school you learn the kid is kind of bullied by the other kids for being kind of off.  A priest played by Donald Pleasance appears at the playground asking about his father and what he does for a living.  The kid tells him that his dad sleeps all day and works nights which intrigues the priest.  You can kind of guess where this is going but not how it will end!  This one is filled with more humor than the others and is more lighthearted,  no pun intended but this one would make a fun feature length movie I think.

The third and final tale is called “The Ghouls” which is more of a darker and downbeat tale.  To me the weakest of the three.  It begins with a movie director scouting out new locations but who finds out when it is too late that he has entered a town filled with ghouls.  This one moves at a slower pace and has a great Hammer Film vibe.  This one also does a great backstory filled with wonderfully drawn stills like you are almost watching an issue of “Creepy”.  The director while searching this run down village meets a young woman who fills him in about the dark side of this town.  This one is good but for a closer story not the best of the three to end the movie.

The end wrap around gives a very strong message explaining the power of each of the tales we just watched and has the last final twist about true monsters.  This film is very highly recommend for anyone who loves a good old fashion horror movie not filled with gore or gross out special effects... this is more old school with the vibe and the feel of the stories is which give you the true horror. The final twist of the whole movie is one to really give you a chill because it really hits close to home for the world.  While “The Monster Club” may not be a widely talked about movie but it is a hidden gem worth seeking.

DEATH PROMISE (1977)

If there ever was a movie with a heart of gold and non stop entertainment,  it would be this rarely talked about martial arts movie called “Death Promise”.  While there are a million martial arts movies out there and the Chop Socky Sunday types to the Shaw Brothers classics,  this one offers something different.  While the budget is small, the director did the best he could with what he had and you can tell he wanted it to be a huge epic masterpiece. With limited funds, the heart is there but the acting and action is at a more humorous level due to the quality of people he could hire.  While there are movies so bad they are good, this one is bad but not because it is poorly made,  it is just dated and at a certain level but it is never lacking the fun and  that is what is important.

The plot is a simple revenge story about a man killed by the evil landlord of his building in New York.  This evil landlord has been buying up the slum apartment buildings in the area for his own stingy evil purposes.  The now deceased father’s son and his buddy who are black belts go to avenge the killing and save the building and other tenants from his evil greedy grip of death!  This is where we meet many hilarious characters like the Sensei who is supposed to be an elder but played by an actor in his early 30s with his hair sprayed grey with color hairspray and also wearing fake moustache, the various henchmen of the greedy landlord and more.

It is a lot of fun to see the main star Charlie take out all of the henchmen and bodyguards in creative ways.  This is what makes this movie so much different than the normal kung fu film.  There is a lot of creativity in this one instead of just non stop karate fights.  And sure, the fights in this movie are very low end and you can tell they are not even coming close to contact with each other when fighting.  But in the end you don’t even care since this movie is a non stop rollercoaster of greatness.

A movie with a lead hellbent on revenge, a best friend who will always have his back and against all odds, a villain so cliché it almost hurts and many diabolical henchmen and assassins…. you can’t go wrong with “Death Promise”.  This movie while made for pennies is pure gold!  With such deadpan acting and some great one liners and a script that is actually really good,  it is hard not to love this movie. A great way to spend 90 minutes.

BLOOD TRACKS (1985)

In the discussion of heavy metal movies such as “Trick or Treat”, “Rocktober Blood”, “Black Roses” and others,  “Blood Tracks” has fallen into the cracks of horror and metal history it seems.  While this has been touted as a slasher film it is a more killer redneck type of movie.  What really makes this movie interesting is not the plot or gore, it is who is in the movie and the purpose of it.  

The film is based around a fake band played by a real band at the time who thought it would be better to change the name for the film, but did the film for publicity for their real band, if that makes any sense!  In later interviews, the members realized how dumb it sounds now and how changing the name actually hurt any press for their real band.  But the members of this band were Kee Marcello of EUROPE, Fredrik von Gerber of EASY ACTION, Zinny J Zan of SHOTGUN MESSIAH and a few others.  Their real band  at that time was EASY ACTION but for the film they went under the name SOLID GOLD..

The movie starts with an odd intro of this family from years back who are kind of inbred and crazy.  Some messed up stuff happens and you see them kind of vanish into the night.  Now years later the famous rock band SOLID GOLD are going to film their new music video in the frozen land where this family once lived.  It is funny to see the band wearing the spandex out in the snow and their groupies as well, complete with lack of clothes.  The movie plays like a winter version of “The Hills Have Eyes” with this now mysterious inbred family who have a taste for killing and blood showing up and knocking off each of the band members and their groupies.

There is not a lot happening or a lot of blood and gore but the movie is a fun ride and a great flash back to the 80’s with the clothes and lesser morals.  While not one that everyone would enjoy, if you are a fan of 80s hard rock and killer hillbilly type of movies,  this one is worth a watch.  There is a lot of funny lines and bad ideas which lead to many people’s deaths.  I think you would be on the right track hunting down and watching “Blood Tracks”.