GRONIBARD “Regarde Les Hommes Sucer”

By Dr. Abner Mality

My knowledge of French extends to about 10 words, but even I can feel the idiocy and offensiveness rolling off this rancid piece of excrement. And GRONIBARD wouldn’t have it any other way! When you have song titles like “To Ride, Shoot Sperm and Drink the Juice”, “Finger In Anus”, and “Fast Gays of Humanity”, you know you’re dealing with a band that just doesn’t give a damn anymore. When I saw the song title “De Mysterfriize Pomme Bananas”, I moved that the band’s name should be changed to GROAN-IBARD.

As goofy as these silly Frenchmen are, they sure know how to GRIND. This album has got riffs bigger than John Holmes’ moldering wang and it can blast like a North Korean nuke test. If you dig the sound of the first two CARCASS albums and also the zany grind of BIRDFLESH, you have to make an appointment with GRONIBARD. The riffs are mean, but super catchy whether they are fast, medium or slow. Everything is extra crunchy and baked to a crisp. But you have to listen to plenty of mush-mouthed pitch shifted growls, comical silly whines and clown-like yelps, along with lots of samples from inane French sex comedies.

One thing GRONIBARD proves for sure...bad taste is universal and has no language barrier. Neither does bone-breaking grind. Pick up “Regarde Les Hommes Sucer” and get ready to roll your eyes while you mosh.