BELUSHI SPEED BALL
BELUSHI SPEED BALL “Balls Out For Pizza!”
By Dr. Abner Mality
It was my sometimes compadre and Chicago punk legend Johnny Vomit who first revealed the name of BELUSHI SPEED BALL to me. Apparently these guys put on a show so crazy at a Chicago club that even Johnny was impressed...and that ain’t easy to do!
Since then, this whacky band of thrashers from Louisville, KY have become one of the most talked about new bands in the scene. I heard someone describe them as “the low rent GWAR” and while that is rather crude, I do see the resemblance. It’s safe to say, they don’t take very much seriously...they are very inspired by the old crossover thrash-punk scene of years ago, with goofy lyrics about pizza, partying and pop culture. They even have a song called “Ripping Off Municipal Waste”, which has been endorsed by the MUNICIPAL guys themselves.
Live is where BELUSHI SPEED BALL really go nuts, putting on a show full of props, pizza, silly string, foam, inflatable toys and who knows what else? But in a strange twist, after every show, the band makes a point of meticulously cleaning up the venue to its original condition!
The new album “Stellkira” actually shows that these guys can play tighter than a nun’s sphincter. They’ve taken off like a rocket in the last six months and had a great gig at the recent Milwaukee Metalfest. I’m always up for pizza and beer, so I hooked up with “Vocal Goon” Vinny Crastellano to discover all the secrets of the SPEED BALL way of life...
WORMWOOD CHRONICLES: Greetings to BELUSHI SPEED BALL! First thing I’d like to know is, was BELUSHI SPEED BALL your first choice for a name? Did you come up with a list of humorously offensive names or did you zero in on BELUSHI SPEED BALL right from the start?
VINNY CRASTELLANO: My best buddy Lee Hysinger came up with the name. I had told him I started a band project and was a huge fan of Sonic Spin Ball. And he said “Belushi Speed Ball”. No other names were considered, the Alpha and the Omega. When he said that name, I said “Smokin”.
WC: Has the concept behind the band remained the same since the start or has it mutated over time? Has the lineup remained consistent or is it in a constant state of flux?
VC: The mission of the band has stayed the same, which is “Have Fun”. It initially started as a studio project I put together myself. I was sick and tired of every band I’d join breaking up after one member decided to hang it up. The line up is always rotating, but for the past couple years we have a had a consistent core line up, Me, Tony Hazelip, Daniel Neel, Jamison Land, Derrek Tipton, Michael Moreno and Senor Diablo are most likely the members you will see at a show. However, different shows and different sizes call for more goons. Being that we are a theatrical thrash band, we consistently have to have various line ups to fill all the different roles.
WC: Everything you do is D.I.Y., including the release of “Stellkira”. Were any labels interested in acquiring your services or were they maybe scared off by one of your live shows? Maybe someone got hit by a random Nerf gun blast or an exploding beer can.
VC: We did have some indie labels interested, but (and this is not to throw any shade towards them) they weren’t really offering anything we couldn’t do ourselves. We would LOVE a bigger label to collaborate with us. We decided the best course of action is to show what we can do with this release on our own.
WC: Will you be sticking to doing everything yourself in the future or will you sign to a label if the offer is right?
VC: I would love a bigger label to come knocking. Again, it just hasn’t happened yet. We are doing really well being completely independent. We move merch like crazy and sell albums pretty strongly. At the time of answering this question, we have over 200 albums of “Stellkira” pre-ordered. “What, Us Worry” sold over 1000 units, that number is skewed though because it includes N64, Super Nintendo, 8-track, Teddy Ruxpin, Gameboy Advance, cassettes, vinyl, and cds.
WC: What is the meaning behind “Stellkira”, the title to your debut album? Or is there any meaning?
VC: I wish I could say it was based on something super deep and awe inspiring. It’s just my favorite movie, “Akira” crossed with my cat, Stella. Andrei Bouzikov did that bad ass cover art, showing off my Catorcycle.
WC: Obviously you’re inspired by the classic thrashers like ANTHRAX, D.R.I., MUNICIPAL WASTE. Are there any lesser known bands that give you inspiration? Or anything outside the thrash realm?
VC: No secret ICP is a huge inspiration to me. I don’t know if I would even be doing music if it wasn’t for Violent Jay and Shaggy 2 Dope. I consume the hell out of some New Wave of Thrash, shout out to our bestie, Neil Beardsley. Neil runs the “New Wave of Thrash Metal” community on Facebook. And my god, the amount of bands I have discovered from him. Some of my favorites are HELLRIPPER. CHEMICAUST, CHEMICAL WAY, and TYMO. I also love some PIZZA DEATH, HEAD IN A JAR, and INSANITY ALERT.
WC: Have you ever crossed paths with any of your inspirations? If so, what was the result?
VC: We have! We got to play the Gathering of the Juggalos last year. I got to meet Violent Jay and his brother Rob (Jumpsteady) called me to schedule everything. 10 year old me would have been so impressed with my current self. Also playing the various festivals that we have, we have played with a lot of these bands. Tony (our bassist) has run into MUNICIPAL WASTE a few times. I was selling merch next to Kurt from DRI, and I did my best to not fan boy him the entire time. With Milwaukee Metal fest coming up, we get to meet a lot of our biggest idols.
WC: You guys are known for cleaning up your own shows. What was the biggest clean-up job you ever had? Was there ever a point where you thought “this is too much, enough!”?
VC: We definitely have messed up pretty bad in the beginning. One of the biggest clean up jobs was actually in a small local venue, Kaiju. Local legend and bestie McKinley Moore used to let us do “whatever” in his club. We one time did 4 bales of hay inside. Turns out there is a difference between hay and straw. We had actual horse feed, and it made everyone insanely sick. We did get that place spotless, but McKinley told us, “Boys, I love you, but don’t ever do that again.”
WC: This might be a hard one, but what was the craziest show you ever had? Anybody ever go to the pokey over a BSB show?
VC: It’s tough to pinpoint because our shows get so insane. But craziest had to be a friend’s mansion. It was a tiny house venue, and we had close to 400 people in this living room sprawling out to every corner of the house. The house was close to condemnation at the time, and I really wanted to do the whole scene from the “Aristocats” where the floor keeps dropping out while the cats are playing piano. So, I started making everyone jump at once. We moved that floor about 6 inches, and supposedly months later the house was officially condemned.
WC: What’s the songwriting process like for you guys? Does everybody join in or is one or two of you that do most of the work? I would imagine brainstorming crazy lyrical ideas has got to be one of the best parts of the creative process.
VC: Songwriting process changed for this album a bit, and I have a feeling it will change even more for the next. But I typically write all the rhythm guitar. I go into the studio and lay down all the guitar scratch tracks. Then Chase Bensing re-records all my guitar. He’s just a way better guitarist and understands theory really well. Then, Daniel records drums, I lay down bass. Chase will send me these tracks and I will write lyrics after listening to the damn thing 1000 times. Most recently however, Jamison Land sat down with me, and went over the songs and helped collaborate some additional parts. He then went into the studio and recorded a separate layer of rhythm guitar and leads. A couple of the songs on this album were actually songs Jamison had written, in which we collaborated together to fine tune and organize them to fit the BELUSHI way. The best part of writing lyrics is I can literally write them about anything because of that chaos that is this band. What makes it difficult is I challenge myself to not swear in the music, and it is difficult to make sure every line appropriately fills the measure, without being able to throw a good “Fuck” in there to space it out.
WC: You hail from Louisville, Kentucky. How has that shaped what you do? Is there much of a metal scene there or are you pretty much it?
VC: Hell yes, well Louisville has a super strong music scene. When we started we knew that we had to stand out somehow. So, we made sure that our shows were super interactive and memorable. What is really cool about Louisville is that the DIY scene is supported so strongly here. People will show up to a local band, as much as they will a national touring act. Especially the all age shows. It is really cool to see how much it has grown and how many new bands are popping up constantly.
WC: Is there one song in particular off “Stellkira” that you like the best?
VC: Personally, I love the first single, “My Favorite Color is Pizza”. It is such a damn anthem. The album is great though, and it’s hard for me to pick only one song. I write music that I love to listen to. “Eels and Escalators” (specifically for the chorus) would have to be a close second.
WC: You believe Garth Brooks is actually a notorious serial killer. What’s some of the most compelling evidence you’ve come up with for this theory? And is Garth himself aware of your crusade?
VC: Allegedly, Garth Brooks is a serial killer according to Tom Segura. This is all allegations and we want to be clear on this. Just look in his eyes, and you’ll for sure have 3-5 years off your life each time you do it. And God, I hope not, I’d hate to go missing also.
WC: If you could have dinner with any 3 people from history, who would they be?
VC: Jesus of Nazareth, Dave Brockie, Sonic the Hedgehog
WC: Now this may be a hard one, but in the history of BELUSHI SPEED BALL, have you ever had a true “Spinal Tap” moment where things went haywire? Even by your standards? Like maybe equipment malfunction, getting lost on the way to the venue, etc., etc.?
VC: ABSOLUTELY! We have gotten better, but I used to warn new musicians that would play with us. Half the battle is keeping your rig running. I can not tell you how many times my shit got soaked in La Croix, all my pedals demolished, everything on stage gets unplugged. It was pretty much “an every show event". We keep an extra guitar head on stage now, just for this instance.
WC: Any last messages or words to the faithful?
VC: Buy our merch!