By Dr. Abner Mality

How do you get your kicks? Beer or bud? This age old question is tackled in musical form on this split LP from the Tankcrimes label. We have TRAPPIST as advocates for the golden brew while CONNOISSEUR speaks up for the pleasure of weed.

TRAPPIST is a band featuring former Slap-a-Ham label owner and SPAZZ/DESPISE YOU member Chris Dodge along with CROM member Phil Vera and punk/metal burger chef Ryan Harkins. You can tell by the band affiliations what TRAPPIST is going to sound like...short, filthy bursts of punk-influenced noise. The TRAPPIST part of the split is non-stop greatness, full of catchy yet lethal hog wallows like “Crush Pils Destroy”, “The One Thing That Still Holds Brew”, and “Amateur Hour” that mix dirty D-beat and grind. A couple of tracks like “Dude, Put Your Fucking Arm Down, Dude” and “I Don’t Need Sobriety” are closer to straight up punk but still crush. If you like your extreme music soaked in malt barley and hops, you’re not gonna find much better than TRAPPIST.

That leaves the dope side of the equation up to Oakland’s weed worshipping CONNOISSEUR, who tend to lean more to the sludgy, doomy side of things. This time around, they actually play faster and punkier than I’ve heard in the past from them and a couple of super short cuts like “Your Ass is Grass” and the ten second “Life AKA How to Dull the Pain From the Crushing Weight of Daily Existence” hardly rise above the level of a joke. But these guys also play super raw and super heavy...the riff on “Stay Down” is absolutely killer and “Double Barrel Shotgun” starts out fast and angry before turning into a hazy hash-soaked noisefest. The CONNOISSEUR side of the split flies by in no time at all.

I’d give the edge of TRAPPIST this time around, but CONNOISSEUR should by no means be forgotten. As for the question of booze vs weed, just do both and forget about everything else…