SOL'S SCREENERS #4

HANNAH D [GIRL FROM VENDEL PARK]

1984

1h 24m

Director - Rino Di Silvestro

Writers - Rino Di SilvestroHervé Piccini

Stars - Ann-Gisel Glass, Sebastiano Somma, Tony Serrano

Say you wanna rip off the film "Christiane F." [1981, dir. Uli Edel, starring Natja Brunckhorst], but you haven't the slightest clue about the subject matter, you'd probably stuff it with so many laughable clichés and then just make up stuff to pad it out with - then you would most likely end up with this junk. Don't get me wrong, I love it, just not for any of the reasons the filmmakers were probably hoping for. Or maybe they were! What do I know?

The women [basically all prostitutes in the screenplay] are impossibly gorgeous, dressing in skimpy attire, furs, and heels to hang out in bombed out wreckage, act tough, and shoot drugs with comically oversized hypodermic needles. One girl retrieves dope from a little canister from up her pooper - just like in "Papillon"! The pimps [especially the main one] are carbon copy evil dudes from central casting, which is probably the most realistic thing about this picture. For whatever reason, a nice guy falls for the star of this screenplay. Why? Fuck if I know - she's annoying as she is stupid.

But, after all, I love inept dreck like this. It's shot really well, and the actors look great, and give it their 100%, for the most part. It's pure exploitation, and a lot of fun, even if it is completely clueless and ham-fisted.

THE SEX KILLER

1965

55m

Director - Barry Mahon

Stars - Rita Bennett, Helena Clayton, Uta Erickson

OhboyohboyohboyohBOYYY!! This is just the kind of pre-hardcore-porno 42nd Street Deuce sickness I yearn to discover: black and white, shot for pennies, deranged surely far beyond what they intended it to even be - plus mannequins!

A 1960s incel type, named Tony, works in a mannequin factory with a bunch of louts who never notice what an odd duck he is. We get to uncomfortably witness his fascination with those lifeless forms in the shape of women, and peep into his peeper lifestyle of the rooftop binocular variety. After an unsuccessful attempt to woo a comely but brashly-mercenary streetwalker, the now-more-frustrated-than-ever Tony snaps. Soon enough, he cannot withstand the disconnect, and invades the homes of sleeping women, where he ogles and touches them. When they have the audacity to be not lifeless, he takes matters into his own sick, sick hands.

Filmed entirely in New York City - including a few scenes on The Deuce - "The Sex Killer" [helmed by low-rent genre legend and actual WW II air-battle hero, Barry Mahon] is a lurid time-capsule of fevered sickness that could only come from the gritty grindhouses 1960s NYC.

RAW FORCE

1982

Rated 'R'

1h 26m

Director - Edward D. Murphy

Writer - Edward D. Murphy

Stars - Cameron Mitchell, Geoffrey Binney, Hope Holiday

This film defies description. Honestly - there is little resource to describe what an utter clusterfuck of an enterprise it is, except to say it is wildly entertaining for the exact same reason[s]. Cameron Mitchell is here, giving it his usual sweaty, alcoholic best, so there's that. Vic Diaz also present, playing the manically goofy [and unnecessarily dubbed] leader of a Philippine island cult so unbelievable you will plotz! There are also porno starlets, martial arts tough guys, a central-casting Nazi villain, unbelievable special effects [seriously, you will not believe them], cannibal/zombie Kung-Fu, an unfunny comic relief character - and boy could we use some relief! The main hero breaks his foot in a stunt and spends the rest of the film in a cast on crutches [WOMP-womp].

Also: there's an exploding helicopter.

I usually enjoy this kind of thing, and on some level I always do, but this affair is so tedious - so cocksure in it's ineptitude, and so unfunny in that same way the least-funny guy you know thinks he is actually hilarious - it was a struggle for me to get all the way through to the withering non-resolution of an ending. Apparently, Jim Wynorsky came on-board as 'Finishing Editor' to rescue this turkey-turd, but if that was a rescue, they shoulda let it die. However, if the mere view of nude boobs and bums are validation enough for you, you will probably feel this is the 'Citizen Kane' of exploitation grinders. Half a star each for Mitchell and Diaz, for a total of one star in any number of stars you wish to ascribe to a rating system: it gets one fucking star.