"Satanic Blood"

By Dr. Abner Mality

It apparently took 20 years for this satanic opus to see the light of day. Why it would take so long is a mystery equaling Amelia Earhart's disappearance, as musically, none of the 19 tracks here sound like they took more than a minute to write, tops.

I guess I get where VON is coming from, as I understand the concept of super minimal Satanic music well. "Satanic Blood" makes Venom's "Welcome To Hell" sound like something from Between The Buried And Me. There is primitive and then there is the utterly brain dead and this leans towards the latter. VON are masters of the two chord Satanic anthem...almost every track here is based on the simplest of rhythms, with high pitched whining guitar coupling with thick and muddy bass and a total caveman approach on drums. Titles can tell you a lot about where a band is coming we have titles like "Goat Christ", "Christ Fire" "Blood Angel", "Blood Von", "Devil Pig", "Jesus Stain" as well as some headscratchers like "Vennt", "Veadtuck" and "Evisc". All follow the same formula to the last note. There is a creepy feel to the ultra-minimalism for a couple tracks, but eventually this seems to be the work of kids who have grown up in the cornfield without much parental supervision ala "Children of the Corn". A couple of tracks have a kind of dull ambience mixed in with the boilerplate black metal...nothing we really haven't heard before.

The band is the project of a gent who calls himself "Venien". Band photo reveals some tough motherfuckers who have spent extra time making themselves look scary. Maybe I'm starting to mature after a lifetime of metal debauchery, but I have trouble stifling a yawn. Some hipsters would claim this is the ultimate in music stripped to the bone. Bones aren't very tasty unless there's some meat on them.