“Armageddon Survival Guide”

By Dr. Abner Mality

Possessors of one of the best punk rock names ever, Canada’s Dayglo Abortions have been making stupidity sublime for almost 35 years. Chew on that for a while. Like The Casualties, who also have released a great punk record this year, they succeed because they refuse to innovate. “Armageddon Survival Guide” sees these middle-aged malcontents dumber, angrier and louder than ever!

They won me over right away with the name of the very first song on the disc, “Your Facebook can Kiss My Assbook”. Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! It also helps that the song is the same kind of punk meets thrash metal ripper that Dayglo Abortions have always been known for. I can’t quite say that the album is as hyperspeed as their earliest stuff, but it’s not slow and it’s full of energy that’s pretty amazing for a band of oafs that’s been around this long. I like the more rock n roll type swagger of tunes like “Velcro Shoes” and “The Dishwasher”, but stuff like “Sick of the Lies” and “Left-Handed Nazis” are more metal injected. These guys are equal opportunity offenders, as they attack liberals, conservatives, yuppies and pretty much everybody in their way, although lead singer Murray the Cretin is at great pains to tell us “I Love My Mom” in the track of the same name.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Same shit, different century. But Dayglo Abortions are here to get us through Armageddon with a sneer and a smile both.