"Please Explode"

By Dr. Abner Mality

Columns have come up with one of the best song titles of 2014: "Punching Nancy Grace". I can't praise that enough. Past that, though, it is very difficult for me to say anything about them. This is a 100% modern grindcore release with a lot of dissonance, anger and sludge. But it just doesn't create any kind of lasting memory for me at all.

The proper heaviness and anger are here, but it is like a legion of other pissed grind bands. Surprisingly, the band features ex-members of Hemdale and Vehemence, which are two names I haven't heard in a long time. Columns doesn't resemble either of those bands much. They blast through a boatload of short brutal tunes that mix utter blast with sludge riffs. That is about all there is to say about it. I hesitate to call "Please Explode" a bad release, but when you can't remember anything about it a day after you've heard it, I certainly can't call it good either. The chief attraction here seems to be sarcastic song titles like the one cited above, along with "Bear Molester", "Laid Off For X-Mas" and "No One's Fucking Waiting".

Not one of the better Relapse offerings, I'm afraid.