"Heavenly Vulva" (Christ's Last Rites)

By Dr. Abner Mality

Whenever I feel too clean and freshly scrubbed and my mind turns to love of my fellow man, I know it's time to bring myself back to the horror of reality and wallow in the filth of Archgoat. These Finns are the perfect antidote for any altruistic thoughts or worship of feeble gods. Just one look at the blasphemous cover of this wretched piece of plastic is enough to blacken the soul.

These boys don't mess around. Following in the steps of such devil-worshipping fathers as Profanatica and fellow Finns Beherit, "Heavenly Vulva" vomits up five cuts of death metal blackened to a crisp. There's a good amount of doom in Archgoat's assault, with "Day of Clouds" being the most obvious culprit and that adds a kind of sick and wretched feeling that speedy blasting alone can't deliver. Over this noxious concoction roils some of the most decrepti, grumbling pitch-shifted growls you're likely to lay goat-like ears upon. Satan is praised, Jesus jeered and the Holy Mother is put through her paces in ways it is not good for pious men to dwell upon.

Archgoat has been spewing this black vomit for many years now and I thank them for performing this valuable service. It keeps one grounded.