"This Is Not A Threat, It's a Promise"

By Dr. Abner Mality

Agathocles...we meet at last! Been hearing a lot about these bellicose Belgians since the mid-80's and it's  no exaggeration to say they are the most beloved grindcore band in Mainland Europe. Ooops, did I say grindcore? Better make it the band's own preferred term "mince-core", which happens to sound exactly like...oldschool grindcore!

Agathocles are true do-it-yourselfers and have inundated the planet with a staggering amount of splits, 7"'s, EP's and what-not, in addition to full records, of which this is one. The guys are ultra-leftist to the core and trust few labels to handle their stuff, so it's quite a coup for Poland's Selfmadegod to grab them for "This Is Not A Threat, It's a Promise". That sure makes it a lot easier for a Yankee imperialist such as myself to get it, as well.

You can accuse these guys of being dinosaurs, playing well-worn 80's grind with no concession to technicality, dissonance, industrial elements, etc. I think they would happily agree and I for one don't mind, because I love this groovy, punky, dirty sounding grind that is catchy as well as cacophonous. 27 tracks of mincecore madness make up this piece of plastic, ranging from mega-blasters that last only seconds to bruising, riff-heavy killers like "Gaszilla", "Motherfucker (Swing That Axe)" and "Straight Lane". I prefer the tunes that toss in medium paced and juicy riffs, but the high speed grinders are good because they don't outlast their welcome. We even get an almost straight punk tune in "God Save The Real Green Crocodile" that has a touch of reggae (!) but that's an anomaly.

To me, Agathocles' is as comforting and warm as an old sweater...true low-fi grind with no compromise and a good sense of humor!