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NASHVILLE PUSSY-1



NASHVILLE PUSSY "Finger Lickin' Good!"

by Dr. Abner Mality

Ever get so messed up at a rock and roll show that you think drunk and sleazy is the natural way of life? No? Well, if you wish to experience the bountiful benefits of a cranium-cracking hangover and a brutally stiff neck in equal doses, I suggest you check out Nashville Pussy, the rip-roarin', man-killin', booze-swillin', Southern-by-the-grace-of-God willin' band right out of the Heart of Dixie. Hitting you up with a foul-mouthed and good-natured concoction of rock and roll rotgut, Pussy is just the band to turn a damn yankee into a moonshine rebel.

They played at Rockford's Kryptonite on June 28,2003...a day that will live in infamy. Thanks to everybody at Kryptonite for signing such a kick-ass show and for letting the Good Doctor get a taste of Pussy (my first in quite a while) afterwards.

The night got off to a good start with The Last Vegas, who play in very similar style to Nashville Pussy...turbo-charged rock with a mean bite. Very good band! But when Nashville came to Rockford, all else was forgotten, as the fearsome foursome delivered a nasty blast of their Motorhead-AC/DC-Lynyrd Skynyrd-Nugent influenced rock. Lead guitarist Ruyter Suys was such a pleasant sweetheart at the merchandise table before the show that it's hard to believe she is the thrashing, sex-charged, beer-guzzling Amazon stalking the stage like a wildcat. Hubby Blaine Cartwright, the band's vocalist and rhythm guitarist, looks like the sort of ornery Southern badman who'd string up any Yankee he finds. A kick-ass frontman bristling with attitude and a great raspy voice. The band is completed by sultry new bassist Katie Lynn Campbell and drummer Jeremy "Remo" Thompson.

After their scorching set, which contained such genteel faves as "Piece of Ass", "Keep On Fuckin'", "High as Hell" and the classic "Fried Chicken and Coffee", I had one of my strangest interviews ever with the band, covering all sorts of weird topics that were anything but what I was expecting. I started out with the lovely (but dangerous) Ruyter and things proceeded from there.

We're on our way to Nashville!

WORMWOOD CHRONICLES: The first thing I have to ask is, you are so incredibly physical during your show. Is there anything special you do to prepare for all that thrashing around?

RUYTER SUYS: Yeah, I try to spend as much time on my couch as possible when I'm home. I think I have it surgically attached to my ass and the TV remote grafted to my hand.

WC: I'm working on a neural implant that will allow people to change channels just by thinking!

RS: Right on, man! Clap on and clap off! Put me down for one. Or maybe two. Maybe I'll put one in my cat. (There's a big commotion at the bar.) Shot break! Hang on a minute! (She does a kamikaze shot.) What's Japanese for thanks?

WC: Domo arigato.

RS: I haven't said that since we've been in Japan.

WC: What was it like over there?

RS: It was pretty fuckin' wild, man. The people who were putting on the show were terrified of what we might do to the audience. "Oh, you cannot go up in the audience!" Well, whaddaya mean I can't go into the audience? We always go into the audience at a show! They'd say "No! They are crazy tonight!" Are you kidding me? Have you ever been to Germany? This isn't shit compared to that! And then they'd come back "Oh, you rock so much, thank you!" And then they'd leave! Well, it's better than some giant German trying to get on your bus. (She switches to a German accent.) "I'm sorry but could I live on your bus for a week? I don't even like your band!". Japan wasn't shit compared to that, they were really polite! They were very loud for an audience,too...we were very impressed with that! We played AC/DC's "Shot Down In Flames" and in between the notes, we'd hear them yell! Japan wins the fuckin' "call and response" award hands down, man!

WC: Did you ever imagine when you started the band that you'd be playing in front of crazed, insane Japanese crowds?

RS: I was hopin'!


WC: That was a goal of yours?

RS: Yeah, fuck yeah! As soon as we realized that we kicked ass, we knew we had to go everywhere! I just assumed we'd be the greatest rock band in the world!

WC: Do you think the music scene is turning more towards your kind of material?

RS: I think it might actually be doing that, yeah. People have been asking us that for years, asking stuff like "Do you think it's more rock and roll than it has been in a while?". Now I'm actually thinking it really is starting to get that way. Even the opening bands are getting really good. The band tonight (The Last Vegas), they were really good and they were rock and roll. I didn't know who the hell they were. At the very least, the level of opening bands have gone up! I guess Led Zeppelin is #1 again on the charts, which is really fuckin' cool!

WC: (Drummer "Remo" joins us): I was just asking, do you think the music scene is headed more your way these days?

REMO THOMPSON: I think everybody wants to hear techno these days. Our next record is going to be all electronic drums.

WC: You're going to be playing ambient trip-hop?

RT: I'm gonna get me a lot of triggers and have the drums sound real
crazy.

RS: Yeah, it's gonna sound "BEEE-OOO-BEEE_ERRRR"! Or maybe we can sample dog sounds. (She starts to "woof".)

RT: Well, I'm going to get a bunch of electronic drums from the music store and program them to sound like dogs barking or cats meowing. (He does an absolutely crazy combination of sounds like" Woof!Meow!Beep!Boing!" I've lost control of this interview completely
at this point.--Dr. Mality)

WC: Usually I wait until the end of the interview to ask this, but things are so crazy at this point, I'll jump ahead and ask: what was you guys' Spinal Tap moment?

RT: We've had a lot of them. You know, every time I watch that movie, I can find something new to laugh at. But after touring with this band for the last six years...

RS: It's not funny any more!

RT: Yeah, this shit's real!

RS: When that movie first came out, I was just a regular member of the audience. Years later, I saw it when I was Blaine's girlfriend and I realized I was pretty much the same as the girlfriend in the movie! Finally, I kind of turned into Nigel!

RT: I remember when they went to a hotel. "You wanted four rooms? Oh, we gave you one room with four beds!" That actually happened to us.

RS: Sometimes they fuck up the spelling of our name. "Nashville Puddy"!(laughter)

RT: I got lost walking from the bus to the venue one night. We were in Europe somewhere. Everybody else was already in the club. I woke up and fell out of my bunk and went to go in the club. I had no idea what the name of the club was or even what city we were in. I walked off the bus and I finally figured out the power line from the bus was plugged into the club so I followed the power line into the club.


RS: You always follow the power line! That's the rule!

RT: It took me like a while to figure that out. I just followed the power line and finally I heard the crowd and that's how I figured things out. Now one time we were in Germany and I followed the power line into this weird bunker kind of thing that was fenced off and nowhere near where I was supposed to be.

WC: It ain't good to be in a bunker in Germany!

RS: As long as you're not in an oven!

RT: Now we did play in a wine cave in France.

RS: We played in a subway station in Germany,too!

RT: We've played clubs where they'll say "John Lennon threw up right over there!"

RS: Gross! I just sat there!

WC: What's the most unusual place you've played?

RS: Unusual place? I don't know,man. That sub station in Germany was pretty cool. I mean, the temperature was pretty cool. There were all these strange entrances and shit like that. We played in a wine cellar in France, too, and that was pretty fuckin' strange. They're beautiful...the ceiling's all brick

RT: We thought it was a World War 2 bomb shelter. It was huge. It was all underground and had big arches. It's hundreds of years old. It was where some rich family used to store assloads of wine.

WC: Were you able to find any?

RS: Well, we can usually scrounge up a couple of bottles!

RT: It is France, y'know! Lift a rock and you'll find 19 bottles of wine.

RS: Oh, here's the weirdest place we've played! We played a fuckin' boxing match one time! We played in between rounds of punk rock boxing.

RT: Was that the "Rock, Wrestle and Roll" bullshit?

RS: No, that was something else out in LA. The stupidest thing about the whole set-up is that all it did was encourage the testosterone level. By the end of the night, everybody was fighting. They all wanted to fight because their friends were fighting in between bands. They'd have the bass player from one band fighting the bass player from another band and they'd be pussy-slapping each other and stuff...there were three bands and three matches and by the end of the night, everybody wanted to fight! All the guys at the show were,like, "HURRRR-ARRRGHHH!" and there were some full-on fuckin' mega-fights breaking out even after the matches!

RT: Well, there's an all-girl roller derby that we play some music
for...


RS: Yeah, on the TV show "Insominiac" next week, they show this all-girl roller derby down in Austin, Texas that we played at.

RT: They'd kick each others asses and we'd play in between sets.

RS: We've also played 2 24-hour motorcycle races in Europe. Nobody gives a shit that a band's playing but at least it gives people something to listen to rather than "RRRRRR-VOOOOOM". It's like 24 hours of" RRRRRR-VOOOOM" and so people will go "Hey, music! Whoo-hoo!" and then it's back to "RRRRR-VOOOM"! We played with Motorhead at one of those and still the fans didn't give a shit who was playing. Believe it or not, we played Cannes Film Festival once, too. We played right on the beach, with the ocean at our back and facing all the fancy white hotels and shit.

RT: We partied with Ron Howard, Elizabeth Hurley and Vanessa Redgrave! Rocco Sifredi (well known porn movie stud) comes there and he's just done some straight movie that wasn't like some crazy porn flick. It was an action film and for him to arrive at Cannes, he comes hauling ass up on the beach on this jet ski, jumps right on to the dock from the ski and then kicks all these guys asses! Then he gets up on the beach and sits right down in a chair.

RS: He grabs a microphone and says "Hello!" He was like the porno host for that day. We were the musical entertainment for the porn portion of the fest!

WC: There can't be many more mountains left for you to climb after this!

RS: Well, we still want to play with AC/DC!

WC: I get the impression you guys are really influenced by the old exploitation drive-in movies!

RT: We've got a drive-in in Atlanta with 6 screens and you can still go there for 5 bucks and see 2 movies!

RS: We've got a friend of ours in Atlanta who's trying to revive the concept of drive-in flicks!

RT: If I had my way, we'd call it "Nashville Pussy Bullet Brawls" and all the chicks would be wearing beehive hairdos!

RS: He's a purist!

WC: Me,too! I'll take a man in a suit over CGI any day of the week!

RT: Yeah, what happened to Ray Harryhausen movies?

WC: Tonight before I came down here, I watched tribute to him on TCM. They had clips from all his movies like "Jason and the Argonauts"...

RT: I just watched "Mysterious Island" the other night! I've actually met Ray Harryhausen. I was at a birthday party for King Kong's 65th birthday. We had a giant cake, man, bigger than this table. Each cake had one letter on it "K-I-N-G"... and the biggest cake in the middle had this giant Kong figure on it! Forrest Ackerman and Ray Harryhausen were there, along with the entire remaining cast of the original "Night of the Living Dead"! Carl Hartman and Marilyn Eastman adopted me and then we had margaritas with Kyra Schon! Then we drank a bunch of moonshine and tore up our hotel room and it cost $3000!

WC: They're going to do another remake of "King Kong". Did you hear who they picked to directed it?

RT: Tim Burton!

WC: Nope, it's gonna be Peter Jackson, who directed "Lord of the Rings"!

RS: No fuckin' way!

RT: Peter Jackson!



WC: He's gonna do it old school style. It's going to be set in the 30's and feature all the dinosaurs in the original, if not more. He's not going to screw it up like they did in 1976...

RT: Awesome! They can't screw it up any worse than they did in 76!

RS: Right on!

RT: I think that every movie should be done in 3-D!

WC: Like "Gandhi" and "Fried Green Tomatoes"?(laughter)

RT: You ever see those old William Castle gimmick flicks? There's a movie theater in Austin that's an old, old theater called the Paramount and every summer they have double features there. Usually it's James Bond. It's one of those theaters that has a full bar. During James Bond week, everybody shows up in tuxedos and drinks martinis! Then they have monster week with shows like "Them!" and "It Came From Beneath the Sea!" When they had William Castle week, we went there and saw "The Tingler" and "13 Ghosts".

WC: Did they have shocks set up in the seats for "The Tingler"?

RT: For insurance reasons, they couldn't do the shocks but they dropped a bunch of plastic bugs from the ceiling! So all these plastic cockroaches and spiders and shit would land in your lap at certain points in the movie. They gave you 3-D glasses for "13 Ghosts". "If you believe in ghosts, look through the blue visor. If you don't believe, look through the red!" You'd look through the blue visor and you'd see
ghosts flying all over the place and then you'd look through the red visor and you'd just see the actors hanging out.

WC: Your show tonight, is it at the beginning or end of a tour?

RT: The beginning. Tomorrow we're in Chicago at the Double Door for a party sponsored by The Onion. I fuckin' love that paper, man! The headlines are so consistently funny. Stuff like "Area Man Declares Plans to Chill"! Last week they had a picture of a cat in a litter box and there was some cat shit outside the litter box and the headline says" Independent cat decides to shit outside the box".

WC: My favorite one was "Pranksters put Christopher Reeve on top of Washington Monument", complete with photo! (laughter) Another good one is "President Bush Declares Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Over".

RT: Then right after the Onion Party, we fly over to Spain and we're in Spain for a week.

WC: Would you say Europe is kind of your stronghold now?

RT: We've been doing really, really good over there lately. (Blaine Cartwright sits down and joins us). Do you ever hang out with the Cheap
Trick guys?

WC: I've been mistaken for Bun E. Carlos several times! No, I can't say I hang out with them.

RT: Last week we were in Atlanta and we went to see Ted Nugent and ZZ Top! That was bad ass, man! The Nuge rocked. He was real enthusiastic and funny. Then ZZ Top came out and played all the old stuff. Billy Gibbons guitar just sounded so insanely bad ass...

BLAINE CARTWRIGHT: Yeah, it did, man.

WC: Did they draw a good crowd?

BC: Oh yeah, it went over really well. There was probably 10,000 there at least.

WC: I'd like to see the Kiss/Aerosmith tour but I doubt if I could afford it.

RT: You know what I heard what it costs for a seat in the first four rows at that concert?

WC: Probably 250, 300 bucks.

RT: 1000 dollars for the first four rows.

WC: Have they no shame? Have you heard where you can buy this actual Kiss coffin?

BC: I think they sell those to like sports bars so they can store beer in them, they don't sell them to individuals. 



RT: They would sell Kiss Velveeta if they could!

WC: Kiss credit cards...

BC: I'd get a Kiss credit card for the hell of it, I don't give a shit.

RT: Some of the Kiss reunion shows we've seen have been really good.

BC: The "Psycho-Circus" one in Nashville was great.

RT: Those first reunion ones they did in 96 were great, the "Psycho Circus" ones were good, but after that, the sound was just awful. You wouldn't even be able to tell what song they were playing until they got to the chorus.

BC: Did you ever see them back in the old days?

WC: Nope, early 80's was the first time for me.

BC: I saw them in 76 on the "Destroyer" tour and also the "Alive 2" tour. When I saw them, Bob Seeger opened up for them. It was pretty incredible.

RT: I've heard Aerosmith is in the studio right now with Jack Douglas, who did their first four albums. All the really kick ass stuff.

WC: That's good because they stuff they've been doing since the 90's, I don't like any of it.

RT: They said they realize they've been making a lot of pop records and we've done well with those, but we want to make a rock record for fans of our old stuff. They're gonna write their own songs and perform them all in the same room with Jack Douglas like they used to do. I'm really interested in hearing what they come up with.

BC: A lot of times the hype will say a band goes back to their roots but when you buy the album, it really isn't like that. You get an idea of what things might sound like in your head but when you hear it, it doesn't match.

WC: Have you ever felt pressure to change or compromise your own sound?

BC: Nah, not at all. The record company doesn't try to get us to calm down too much, they seem happy with the way things are. They just want to document the progress of the band and they don't really do anything else.

RT: We have yet to record our "epic" album that's gonna sell a million copies, the record that we'll be remembered for 20 years from now...

>From there on, things broke down pretty fast. It was about 3 AM and the fans had long since departed. Nashville Pussy and their crew had to pack up and get ready to hit Chicago the next night.

All I can say is, what a hoot to see them in Rockford. Don't ever miss 'em if they're in the neighborhood again. Now where's that fried chicken and coffee?