GWAR "Occupy Antarctica"

By Dr. Abner Mality

Hazardous weather conditions and an inbred aversion to temperatures below zero prevented me from traveling to GWAR's Antarctic headquarters for my summit with the filthy alien mutants. However, that's no big problem...if you wait long enough, the Scumdogs will most assuredly come to you. So it was just a matter of time before they hit Milwaukee's Rave complex for a Halloween offensive (read details of that hellacious assault HERE) and my opportunity for a face-to-face confrontation opened up.

I was fortunate enough to speak to the mouthpiece (as well as codpiece) of GWAR himself, Oderus Urungus. Oderus grants very few in person interviews but upon learning of my medical research devoted to the domination and destruction of the human species, he made some time for me. I was led into the bowels of the Rave to Oderus' temporary lair, where I met him in his human guise of Dave Brockie. This distasteful form he is forced to wear so he can infiltrate mankind and thus learn all their secret weaknesses.

As you will see, we hit it off pretty good. Oderus was quite open and forthcoming about many subjects such as GWAR's attempts to get into films, video games and comic books, Oderus' own career as horror author and of course, the dreaded Spinal Tap moment. I will say no more but let you now read results of the first Dr. Abner Mality/GWAR summit...

WORMWOOD CHRONICLES: Hail to GWAR! You've been on The Return of the Maggot tour for a while now. How has your latest campaign of debauchery gone?

ODERUS URUNGUS: Very well indeed. We've been playing to a lot more people this time since we decided to focus on the big cities and eliminate the bumfuck small towns from our itinerary. We are focused like a laser on where we can do the most damage instead of wandering around the rural sticks.

WC: It can be somewhat grueling to be a band on one of GWAR's tours. What sort of an ordeal does a band have to go through to be accepted?

OU: Eh, it's not really that big a deal. Main thing is, you don't suck. We choose bands that we ourselves enjoy watching and we've had great luck. Once in a while, we get saddled with lame bands when we have "buy ons" join up with us. That can be due to a venue or local promoter. The reason those bands have to "buy on" to a show is usually that they're no fuckin' good in the first place. It is a necessary evil. But as far as the current tour goes, we couldn't be happier with the bands on it.

WC:  I was real happy to see you guys hook up with Ghoul. What led to this summit between Antarctica and Creepsylvania?

OU: I tell ya, Ghoul is great! I've been watching them every night on this tour. Sometimes I'm here in the back chillin' out while the openers are on, but not with these guys, they fuckin' slay! We do have a connection with them. One of our former Slave Pit guys, Scott, is helping them design their stage gear and props. Difference is, we still have a whole army of Slaves helping us while Ghoul just has Scott at this point.

WC: They've got a backstory like GWAR does and really defined characters.

OU: Yeah, they are following in the tradition of many bands like GWAR and Slipknot. I think they just may be the next big thing.

WC: Speaking of Antarctica, have you dudes started a version of "Occupy Antarctica" yet?

OU: Yes, there is a full branch of the movement in Antarctica. Unfortunately, there are not many inhabitants there who can take part. There are a lot of rabid penguins and of course, GWAR. The place seems barren, I don't know why. All are welcome to join us there as we protest not only filthy bankers of the 1% but the other 99% of entire fucking human race as well! We are inclusive!

WC: Your most recent record "Bloody Pit of Horror" was such a colossal blast. How are you going to top it?

OU: Hmmm, many secret plans are being hatched in the Pit and I'm not at liberty to give full details. However, I can tell you it will be based on the Mayan concept of 2012 being the end of the world. You see, GWAR has travelled through not only space but time...we have come from the future and we know what the end will bring! We will now share these horrors with the rest of you. I personally am fascinated by how every 10 years or so, humanity seems to predict its own demise and it never really happens. Well, this time will be different!

WC: Who are some of the creators...authors, moviemakers, etc...who have inspired GWAR over the years?

OU: Many of the giants. Lovecraft, of course. Monty Python has always been a big influence on us.

WC: Maybe Russ Meyer?

OU: Actually I didn't have a fucking clue on Russ Meyer, but our old member Sexocutioner introduced me to his films and I spent one whole entire day watching the Russ Meyer collection. The man was a demented genius.

WC: How about pro wrestling?

OU: I was never much into wrestling, not like some of the other members. I always kinda lumped it in with NASCAR. I admire the brute force of it and the violence, but it was more for the other guys than me.

WC: Like Beefcake the Mighty?

OU: Actually back in the day, Techno Destructo was the guy who was huge into wrestling. We have many, many influences...all from the worst of humanity!

WC: Do you guys remember when you paid a visit to South Beloit, Illinois?

OU: (groans) I am still trying to forget it. I remember being shown this place on the map and saying, we have to fucking appear HERE? Arrgh, it is something I am trying to purge from my mind.

WC: Do you still stay creative with other bands like X-Cops and Dave Brockie Experience?

OU:  Oh sure, I'm in a constant state of creativity! I'm writing a lot of horror stories...just got published in an anthology with a lot of other famous horror writers. But the kind of horror I write is different than the usual is more "GWAR-ror". My book "Whargoul" is in that mode and there's more on the way!

WC: Who's that guy named King?

OU: Never heard of him! We are also working at our big complex in Richmond, Virginia coming up with all sorts of fiendish stuff. The Slave Pit is in constant motion. We have four other bands working with us in this space.

WC: Care to share who they are?

OU: It doesn't really matter, they are all from the area. There are no real rock star egos involved. Some people would think "oh wow, we are practicing in the same space as GWAR" but we don't give a shit about that kind of stuff.

WC: It sounds like a real creative explosion.

OU: It always is! In the early days of GWAR, it was definitely more about the show, we didn't care about the music so much. But then we knew we had to step up our game as far as the music goes. We are much tighter, much better musicians now. But there are so many places we can go with the concept of this band.

WC: I always wondered why there isn't a continuing GWAR comic book.

OU: So do I! It's the perfect medium for us, but it must be done OUR way, with OUR input and not before!

WC: I'd think a GWAR movie would be awesome, too!

OU: Yeah, it would be, but we can't find anybody willing to put money in the goddamn thing. Maybe we are too offensive? Really? In this day and age? I mean, GWAR has been a proven concept for 25 years. Come on, man...invest in GWAR! Take a chance!

WC: How about a video game?

OU: This has also been discussed. We'd put out the most violent fuckin' video game in the universe. Oderus would be chopping his way through all kinds of trolls. I'd actually like the screen to gradually fill up with blood as the game progresses. We'd like it to be rated NC-17!

WC: Do you ever foresee a time when you lay down your weapons and GWAR will be no more?

OU: No, never. GWAR will continue on into infinity. Even when we physically can no longer perform, the fans will carry on and create their own stories.  But we can do this for a long, long time. I mean, look at fuckin' Alice Cooper! He's still out there doing his thing and it's been forty fuckin' years for him.

WC: He's doing "Welcome To My Nightmare Part 2" now.

OU: I saw Alice in concert a little while back. Had to say, I thought it looked a little cheesy compared to the glory days. I think he's toning things down and making things nicer. Well, we've had to do that, too, from time to time. You know, the guy's great...he's another big influence on us. He's one of the last of the rock stars...still getting advances from the labels. The advances are what keeps him going.

WC: If you could ask any three people from history to dinner, who would they be?

OU: Hurrrr....we've already hobnobbed with some many people. I mean, GWAR has even had Jesus Fuckin' Christ on stage with us. Let's see...Abraham Lincoln. How about Jack The Ripper? That way we could find out who the son of a bitch is! Who else, who else? Could you take Laurel and Hardy as one person?

WC: Why not?

OU: I like them. But maybe we'll make it Adolf Hitler instead. Lincoln, Jack The Ripper, Adolf Hitler...that sounds like a party to me!

WC: What was the last CD or record you got just because you wanted to listen to it?

OU: I got the latest U2 record. In fact, that's about the only fuckin' thing I've listened to for the last year. I think it's great, it's classic, it really speaks to the times we're going through. I don't know, I'm just really into arty, faggy Irish rock bands!

WC: And the last band you saw live because you wanted to?

OU: Easy. That was Ghoul, right here on this tour!

WC: Now this is something we always ask, but this time, it might be crazier than usual.

OU: Lay it on me...

WC: Is there one particular Spinal Tap moment from your history you'd care to share with us?

OU: I got a good one right off the bat. This goes a while back, when we were filming a video for "Sex Cow" outside on a lake. We were all in a boat, dressed in full armor and stage gear, and rowing the boat across the lake. Then we noticed the fucker was starting to leak and we were taking on water in a boat in the middle of a lake. So when you watch that video and see us rowing...

WC: You see real terror on the screen.

OU: You see real terror. I can tell you that lake was cold and deep!

WC: Do you have any message to send out to Mr. Lordi?

OU: (snorts) Yeah. Why don't you give up your comedy act and try doing horror for a change?
(Less than one week after the above interview took place, we got word that GWAR guitarist Corey Smoot aka FLATTUS MAXIMUS passed away. According to the coroner's report, the shocking demise was due to a pre-existing heart condition. The Milwaukee show described above was one of the very last Corey ever performed. GWAR has announced that the character of FLATTUS MAXIMUS has been retired. I hereby dedicate this interview to his memory. RIP, Corey Smoot, and farewell, FLATTUS MAXIMUS!---Dr. Abner Mality)