GWAR - Mock The Vote

By Sgt. Deth

Just days after the presidential election I was honored with the opportunity to talk to the front man of GWAR, Oderus Urungus. He is still on his own merciless campaign of corruption and disease. He was kind enough to disguise himself as a human during our interview. I appreciated that as I was already very nervous.

He was just as you would expect a being created to wipe the filth off this planet's ass would be. You could almost taste his disdain for us human trash. He obviously is getting impatient for armageddon to happen so he can have his heyday. I was hardly prepared for the terror that he depicted during our interview or his stage performance. I will never be the same.

Wormwood Chronicles: You must be Oderus Urungus?

Oderus Urungus: That's right! [looking over the crowd from the balcony] Who are all these people, what do they want?

WC: What got you started on the whole presidential election thing (being that this is the "Mock the Vote" tour)?

OU: Well, every vote for George Bush is a vote for a dead Iraqi baby, and is the advancement of a facist state, religious ogliarchy, made up of old people. I couldn't be happier! Anything your country gets you deserve, you were stupid enough to elect the stupidest person in the world; I think think it's fuckin' hilarious! You have reaffirmed the world's belief in the assinine stupidity of America. Way to go dumbasses!

WC: Did you vote in the last presidential election '04?

OU: I vote with a broadsword every night. Bush's head is my ballot.

WC: What happened to Metal Blade records, why are you no longer with them?

OU: They suck, so I got a new deal. We were selling tons of records for them so they can sign every shitty metal band in the world. Nothing against them actually, we have no bad feelings against Metal Blade at all; except its a shitty label full of crappy bands.

WC: Do you have anything good to say about your new record company?

OU: I don't have anything good to say about them, and I don't have anything bad to say about them YET. Time will tell.

WC: Going back to the Ragnarock days, do you know anyone with AIDS or what is your general opinion on the disease today?

OU: I am a little upset that it seems to be petering off. HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!

WC: How do you feel about global warming and how it is destroying the ice in your home of Antarctica?

OU: We have bought giant refrigerators to solve the problem.

WC: Do you love or hate penguins?

OU: Hate em, hate em! Those little fuckers, you see them at the zoo and you never see people standing next to them. Because, if you did you would realize penguins are 50 feet tall. They eat melted uranium and they tried to wreck my fucking GWAR stronghold. In fact, they may have succeeded while I am on this tour.

WC: How do you plan on surviving the impending holocaust?

OU: Surviving it, I'm the one creating it! You think Hitler was worried about surviving the Holocaust? No!

WC: Going back to your original roots, do you consider yourself punk metal at all? I can hear it coming out in your new CD.

OU: We started out as a punk rock band with the CD, "Hell-O". Then we finally embraced metal with, "Scumdogs", and "America Must Be Destroyed". Then we went off into punk rock comedy land for a while, thank God that's over. We're back with a vengeance playing the most powerful form of rock-n-roll ever created, metal. GWAR is now undisputably the sickest-greatest show in metal history! If you think fucking KISS is heavier than GWAR, then you are a fucking idiot. Our influence has touched everybody. We fucking rule, period! Woe to anyone who thinks different.

WC: Have you had any Spinal Tap moments lately to share with us?

OU: We continually get lost. It got so bad. Spinal Tap got lost under the stage in Cleveland; we got lost on tour and couldn't find Canada.

WC: Is there any final words you have for our readers?

OU: Absolutely not! I am done with this interview! I'm not going to say another thing! You couldn't pay me a million dollars to go on with mad diarrhea at the mouth about how fucking great GWAR is, and how we are dominating this planet with our new album, "War Party", the heaviest thing we have ever done. And how the insignificant human masses are going to be crushed by the savage boot of their nefarious overlords. I just won't say any of that!

Thanks to Kathi Heitzman for the awesome pictures. More pictures to come in the GWAR concert review, up soon!

GWAR's Official Website