"To Be The Best You Gotta Beat The Best":   EAT THE TURNBUCKLE!

By Theron Moore

I've always been a fan of punk rock that legitimately scares people.  You're not sure what the band is going to do, you're not sure how the audience will react, you just know that whatever happens it's going to be memorable.  I think that sums up Eat The Turnbuckle perfectly.

Somehow, some way they've figured out how to combine the best elements of pro wrestling and punk / metal and make it work in such an entertaining way that ten minutes turns into an hour of watching ETT vids on Youtube.

 I'm happy to say that this band is completely unique in what they do and how they do it in this day and age of retread and carbon copy bands.  If you're looking for crushing music, a killer stage show and the best in sports-thrash entertainment, then I give unto you the mighty Eat The Turnbuckle...

WORMWOOD CHRONICLES:  I understand ETT is going overseas soon if not already.  Can you tell us about the trip?

SHLAK:  We are projected to be playing roughly 20 or so dates, all guaranteed to be drenched in gore. Germany, France, the UK, and a few stops in the Netherlands including Rompeprop, a festival, "Grindhoven" in Eindhoven.

WC: The marriage of pro wrestling and hardcore / thrash is one of a kind and brilliant!  You gotta tell me the origin of that idea, how that came about?

SHLAK: Well roughly, Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza and Call the Paramedics played together a lot and me (shlak) and Jag are both big underground wrestling fans. both have GG Allin-esque type stage shows and wanted to start a band together. We decided to cut to the chase and eliminate all the other shit and focus strictly in the wrestling elements. He's from PA and I'm from South jersey both being home to ECW and CZW. Basically the Mecca and birth place of American ultra violent wrastlin'. So I dare you to name a better place for this type of shit to be born.

WC:  ETB played the Gwar-B-Q this summer and did a match with Necro Butcher.  How did that get arranged, it had to have been through you guys, right? Are you friends with him?

SHLAK: Yeah Necro is our boy, we were introduced by our guys in Texas Heat, Chey, and Ruben Steel....he was doing a Mexican run and they brought him to one of our shows in Texas.. We did one with Balls Mahoney and will do more run in type stuff like that soon, hopefully with the likes of Matt Tremont and other hyper violent guys on the circuit these days.

WC:  Does / Did Necrobutcher get what the band is about?  He did fucking great at the Gwar barbeque during your set.

SHLAK: Yeah, Necro is a fuckin' champ, man... one of the nicest dudes you'll meet. He's down for the cause, he's like us... anything to get the crowd goin', even if that requires hurling my body into piles of glass and barbwire.

WC:  Musically where are you guys coming from?  I imagine G.G. Allin, The Mentors, etc. There's also peers like the Bad Luck 13 Riot Extravaganza, Xibalba and Without MF Order.  Where does Eat The Turnbuckle fit in there? 

SHLAK:  Well, everything pretty much stems from GG, hahaha! Bad Luck and Call the Paramedics would attack the crowd and they would get involved which scared people off.  So we figured if we contained the violence to the stage it would make the audience more comfortable like a wrestling match and prevent them from scattering. As for the music style, it's starting to lean more toward early Slayer and break down hardcore.

WC:  You encourage fans to bring weapons to the show.   Have there been gigs in the past where this may have been a bad idea, where maybe the fans got a little carried away and people, band members and fans alike, have been seriously injured?

SHLAK:  The fans, nah. We learned our lesson in our past bands. As for us, I can't say the same-- separated shoulders, hurniated discs, blown out knees, broken ribs, fingers, toes, and miles of lacerations. It is what it is, we know what we're doing, most of us have been bleeding in other bands for decades now.  Some are actual wrestlers and some have just been showed the ropes in the ring but we are trying to create a product that will never be trumped in history again even if it requires donating our livers and body.

WC:  Let's talk about pro wrestling for a second.  Give me your thoughts on the following:

SHLAK: TNA = blows now, was great early on with the old ECW guys.

WWE = PC gay shit, no balls, no realism, no product.

ROH = has always been a great staple and representation of the indies.

CZW = although not as great as it once was, it still has it's moments and they have been incorporating some great tech wrestling into the promotion, unlike early on in it's life,

WC:  WWE sucks and TNA has gone to shit.  Where do you recommend fans of pro wrestling go to see good, solid wrestling, hardcore or not?

SHLAK:  It's getting harder and harder to find. I hate to say it but American wrestling mostly blows now so follow and support your favorite guys no matter what promotion they are in. You can't go wrong with Japanese and Mexican Lucha. Them countries do it right. It's entertainment in the states, it's a sport in Japan, but in Mexico it's a fuckin' religion.

WC:  All time fave wrestlers?

SHLAK:  Mannnnn, that list is long.... Here's a few.... Bruiser Brody, Abdullah the butcher, the original Sheik, Sabu, Ric Flair, Cactus Jack, Jun Kasai, Onita, Mr. Pogo, Jushin Liger, Blue Demon, El Santo, Wifebeater, Zandig... I can go on for hours...

WC:  Do you tour nationally and if so, how do promoters handle the band?  In fact, when you play locally how do venues and promoters handle the band considering your physical nature?

 SHLAK:  We've done about 4 coast to coast tours and a shit ton of weekend runs in our short 2 + year span. Some bitch at first but we are good dogs, we make a mess but we clean up , then they shut up. Then they check the register from all the booze they sold and they kiss our asses hahah! At this point we've played with pretty much every major act in the country and some over seas. We have played some major venues and some big festivals so I think they get the hint that none of that would be possible if we constantly wrecked the joint.

 WC:  You've got one record out right now called "Fans Bring Weapons" an EP on that's available on iTunes.  Any plans for a new record?

 SHLAK:  We have 3 releases. That "Fans Bring Weapons" EP, "Step in the Fuckin' Ring," and "Card Subject to Carnage," full lengths. We are currently workin' on some new tracks as we speak. All that shit is on YouTube or you can find links to buy it on our Facebook or at uselessdrunk

WC:  What does 2015 hold for the band?

SHLAK:  A shit ton of new gimmicks, new releases, new merch, a DVD, euro tour, more ETT VS...., and the craziest fuckin' US tour you've ever heard of....Stay tuned for info on that...mark my words, it will be epic.....