DAYGLO ABORTIONS “Equal Opportunity Offenders”

By Dr. Abner Mality

When it comes to offensive and politically incorrect punk rock, you’d have to travel a country mile and more to find a band that sticks out more than Canada’s Dayglo Abortions. These guys won the battle with their names alone….only Dead Kennedys and Sex Pistols are legitimate rivals. And these crazy Canucks have been at it as long as anybody. They were smarmy before smarmy was cool!

But there’s more to these guys than just loud, thrashy music and offensive stupidity. The offensiveness is a way to push buttons and get people thinking. So Dayglo Abortions fulfill a very necessary function in our commercialized and regimented society…the function of court jester.

The last days of mankind are coming soon, so the Abortions have prepared a musical treatise to help us through the end…the “Armageddon Survival Guide”. This new album features such pithy, helpful diatribes as “Your Facebook Can Kiss My Assbook”,  “No More Bullshit” and “I Love My Mom”.  I wanted to find out what drives a band to be so warm-hearted and open-minded so I looked up Dayglo singer and mastermind Murray “The Cretin” Acton at a flophouse somewhere in British Columbia. The result is one of the funnier and more political interviews to appear here at Wormwood.

Grab the Armageddon Survival Guide and get ready to kiss yer ass goodbye!!!

WORMWOOD CHRONICLES:  It’s been a while since we’ve had an album from Dayglo Abortions. What made now the right time for “Armageddon Survival Guide”?

MURRAY THE CRETIN:  Well, it’s kinda funny, because I was really pitching this one just before 2012 and it didn’t happen. I came up with a couple of ideas for albums since then and a couple of years later, the label guy said, “Gee, your “Armageddon Survival Guide” was kind of a cool idea. Well, fortunately, Armageddon seems to be coming up every couple of weeks, eh? I survived a bunch of them, I might as well go ahead and give people a heads up on it.

WC: It seems like Armageddon has been on the horizon for a long, long time…

MTC: Yeah, it comes and goes, doesn’t it?

WC: Do you think it’s here at last? What kind of form do you think it would take?

MTC: We should be so lucky, eh? (laughs) Wouldn’t it be great if it was like an alien invasion from outer space or something like that? We could wind up going down like in a sci fi movie. That would be exciting, I guess . I have a sneaky feeling we’re actually going to torture ourselves to death slowly over many, many years. (laughs) I don’t think it’s going to be as spectacular as people think. We might get the Illuminatus banker monsters turning us into slaves. That wouldn’t be that surprising. I think most of us are already, for Christ’s sake. With so many religious wars, there’s a lot of people hoping for the classic battle in the plains of Armageddon. They’re really working towards that. It seems multiple sides are working to make that happen.

WC:  It seems like people have the idea that the end will be a sudden blast. The more I think about it, it will probably be that long slow falling apart.

MTC:  There’s this whole phenomenon of manifest destiny going on, eh? There’s a lot of religious literalists who are quite convinced that there’s gonna be this big battle and then they get to live in Happy Valley or whatever.  Y ou know, these people are all “God-Botherers”.  They’re all “God this” and “God that”. You know, I can actually see the Rapture happening if there actually was a God…which I’m not convinced of, to be honest. (chuckles) I can see Him yanking all the bloody religious people out of here and saying, OK, here we go! This bunch can all go to heaven and hang out together because man, are they ever annoying! We’ll put them in this little theme park called Heaven and everybody else can have, eh, whatever! (laughs) That would be too sweet!

WC: I saw something on the internet the other day saying that now that Lemmy has passed away, there will be no more virgins in heaven for you terrorists!

MTC:  Yeah, right!

WC: You guys made your career on shocking people. The public is now exposed to so much outrageous stuff. Does it take a lot more to offend people today?

MTC: Oh hell, no! (chuckles) Actually, it’s frighteningly easy to offend people today, if you’ve noticed. You’ve got to be careful what you say…which I have never been.  There’s these third wave feminists running around getting offended. I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a lot of people in this world suffering from unregulated internal hatred that they direct at everything around them. It’s just pouring out of them. Some people are so full of love that you can see it radiating off of them. Doesn’t matter what they are….big, small, fat, whatever. They look beautiful!  But then there’s these other people that are so full of hatred. It’s like there’s poison gas coming out of them! They’re like the fucking Union Carbide plant in Bhopal, India, you know? Like these third wave feminists I was talking about. They don’t really seem to talk about feminism…all they talk about is men, for starters.  You’d think they’d be more concerned about feminine issues. I don’t know where all the hatred comes from.

WC: A lot of self loathing…

MTC: You can see it in religion run amok. People manipulating certain aspects of religion to get folks all riled up. Then there’s the various political maneuvers by our governments. If you subjugate people enough, you’ll eventually get a lot of hatred going. What’s with people in North America going on about it so much, though? Shit, we got it made here! Even on welfare, you’re not doing that bad, you know?

WC:  Not compared to somebody living in Bangladesh…

MTC: Yeah, I know, it’s unreal.

WC: Speaking of hatred, we just had a visit from Mr. Trump about 30 miles from where I live…

MTC: Oh yeah, one of those big rallies, right? They’re a fiery bunch, aren’t they?

WC: They managed to spray a teenage girl with mace and rough her up. That was a big story here.

MTC: We’ve been getting a fair bit of it up here as well. That’s an interesting thing. It’s amazing how much the American elections affect us up here in Canada. I was sort of rooting for Bernie Sanders, to be honest. He seemed to have a pretty solid platform, but you know, that kinda makes me nervous, too. You have this progressive liberal thing which seems good on the surface, but Jeez, it can be taken too far as well.

WC: Almost anything can be corrupted.

MTC: One of the things that struck me about Sanders is that he struck me as incorruptible in a way.

WC: He might be, but he’s just one guy.

MTC: That’s just it, eh?  And how much influence does he have? How much influence does the President actually have as far as the direction of the country goes?

WC: Not much anymore.

MTC: (laughs) Not by a long shot. It’s not as close to a democracy as people would like to believe anymore. 

WC: Dirty money has ruined it.

MTC: We’ve had the same thing here. We’ve had a particularly unpleasant run with a really conservative party up here. There was a lot of bankrolls getting padded. We don’t have the crazy lobbying  like they have in the States. They have big limits here on the amount of money that can go to the political parties. But there’s still access to politicians so it just becomes passing money around and shit like that.

WC: Canada seems like an island of sanity compared to the US. Here, there is no longer any limit on political contributions.

MTC: Yeah, I know, I know.  Obama really cleared all of that out of there, didn’t he?

WC: It makes me wonder even if Bernie gets elected, what could he do? Let me ask you this…do you have the same motivation to make music now as when you started all those years ago or has it changed over the years?

MTC: Well, over the years, it’s kind of evolved. I’ve gotten a better handle on what it is I’m doing. It’s all great fun playing punk rock and having fun, but once you the ear of a few people, you start to think, shit, maybe I can influence people.  I’ve taken the position that the duty of the Dayglo Abortions is to go to all of the really sensitive spots, the places nobody wants to talk about, and ridicule them. Just drag them out in the open  and make ridiculous jokes about it. If it offends people and gets them all riled up, that’s really the beginning of them thinking about those issues. 

WC: That’s an important job. That’s what the court jester did years ago. He could say things about the King that nobody else could say.

MTC: It’s fun! I actually had a song get censored on the new album. The label wasn’t going to have anything to do with it, eh? It was about this guy named Karl who’s in the KKK and he stutters.  “Hey, I’m K-K-Karl from the K-K-Ku Klux K-K-Klan.” (laughter)  “I’m here to t-t-talk to you about R-r-race war!” Even when he wears his pointy mask, everybody knows it’s Karl from the hardware store! It’s Karl from the hardware store, for Christ’s sake!(laughter) I thought that was a pretty good play on things, just to get a chuckle out of the Klan, but the label was like, no, not a chance. They were worried about the Europeans. They thought the Europeans would be offended by that. They would think you’re making racist remarks. I am bloody not making racist remarks. Christ, it’s not a racist remark just because you point out aspects of racism. The song goes on to say that all of the other ethnic groups in the world…and I did use some slurs to describe them…they have a lot of differences, but they all have one thing in common.  They all hate the Ku Klux Klan. So if there’s anybody who knows about being hated by people, it’s the KKK! 

WC: A guy like that almost satirizes himself.

MTC: Yeah, I thought so too! At the end of the song, we say, the next time you’re picking on some good ol’ boys, just put yourself in Karl’s shoes, eh?  It’s not his fault he was born a retard!

WC: Some people would get offended because you made fun of a guy who stutters.

MTC: They’d find something, you know. The guy who does our management pretty much has babies over the things I say on Facebook. Somebody posted something on my Facebook page saying “Does feminism make you fat and ugly?” And it’s really funny. It’s not fair…I don’t think it’s feminism that makes them fat and ugly, its this internal hatred thing that makes them fat and ugly. And they’re just lashing out at everybody. You can’t be laughing at these people because it’s not fair. They’re mentally ill, you know.  They need help, for Christ’s sake! It’s like laughing at retards, come on, that’s not fair. 

WC: There are people like that who have already been elected and others are perilously close.

MTC: Yeah, I know, I know, I see some real characters down there for sure!

WC: You guys seem to be equal opportunity offenders…

MTC: Well, that’s important, you know?  One thing I don’t wanna do is discriminate against anybody…(laughs).

WC: Is there one particular group that gives you the most flak? Is it the feminists who hit you the worst?

MTC: These third wave feminists are a little bit hypersensitive, I must admit. The people who get most easily offended at these kind of…I don’t know how you describe them…these hipster sort of college student types. 

WC: The social justice warriors….

MTC: Yeah, yeah! That kind of thing. Christ, I’m a social activist myself. I’m all for equal rights for everybody.  We wouldn’t have a lot of the issues we do if everybody had an equal opportunity towards the pursuit of happiness. As long as their right doesn’t impinge on somebody else’s right to the same thing.  That’s what we should all be going for, you know? Now you get things like these refugees…people who are in trouble, who are in a war zone and getting chewed up. We’ve got to put our politics aside and just get our asses in there and help them. We’re supposed to be civilized and above that kind of stuff. But as far as letting these refugees come in with bizarre religious and political ideas, fuck that. If they’re not gonna respect the people that help them, hopefully the laws would put a limit on that. But it doesn’t seem to be working so good for them in Europe.

WC: You gotta take the good with the bad.

MTC: Right. This whole thing with terrorists is kind of a tricky. The best way I think to deal with terrorists is to immediately give in to all of their demands. (laughs) That way, that just pulls the rug right out from under them, eh? You want this guy out of jail? Sure, here he is! It’s just one guy, let him out and send him to the other side of the Earth. The American government, the way they’ve stirred shit up over there in the Middle East is just unbelievable.

WC: I don’t know whether they just didn’t think things through or they thought it through and are making a huge profit on it.

MTC:  I think they thought it through very carefully. It’s just too systematic. They took out one country after another.  Each one of the countries that were threatening to stop using the American dollar as international currency for oil….the petrobucks. There’s the petrobucks and then Afghanistan and the bloody opium fields. It’s all motivated by the lowest of  desires along with strategic shit.  You just follow the money and you can see what’s going on. And now the situation with Syria….that’s turned into a bit of a fuckin’ mess, hasn’t it?

WC: A whole country has been destroyed.

MTC: First we bombed out Iraq, which had the highest standard of living in the area. Women had rights. Baghdad was one of the most beautiful cities in the world. Not any more, it’s not. And then there was Libya. Let’s go over there and fire up ol’ Isis.  Khadaffi wasn’t so bad, either. They had one of the higher standards of living in the area, too. The ones that we seem to be backing like the Saudis, they’re bankrolling most of this terrorism shit, you know?

WC: The Saudis are like an Isis that became a successful  country.

MTC: Yeah! I try not to get so much into politics, but sometimes you can’t help it. I do like to go after touchier things. Social media has been one of my favorite targets lately. I really get off on teasing people and making fun of the whole thing where people are hiding behind anonymity. They start shooting their mouth off about this and that with a fake name and a fake picture of themselves. It’s getting pretty crazy.

WC: The title of the first song on your new record was a stroke of genius.(laughs) That was one of the best song titles of the year, bar none! (The song is “Your Facebook can Kiss my Assbook”.)

MTC: Believe it or not, it was my ex-wife that came up with that. She said she wanted to start her own Facebook lookalike page called “Your Facebook can Kiss my Assbook”.  I was like, whoa, smart woman! That’s a good one! It’s funny stuff but it gets mixed reviews out of people. Some people get really offended by that.

WC: Yeah, those type of people need to be offended.

MTC: I know, exactly. That’s what I’m counting on. It’s starts a debate, starts a good argument about things. 

WC: One of the songs on the new album that seemed to be coming from a more serious place is “To Prove That We Are Free”. 

MTC:  That one’s interesting. It started off when I was going to do a spoof of a punk rock anthem. “United we stand”, all that kind of shit.  As I put it together, it actually turned into a punk rock anthem, not even a spoof of one! (laughs) It’s also about people all screaming to overthrow the government. Except, what’s gonna happen when you overthrow the government? You end up with this  big void and probably a bunch of Blackwater security guys running the place. I got a feeling they’re not gonna be nice to deal with. 

WC: On Facebook, if you post a couple of memes with a political theme, you’ve become a great crusader for justice.

MTC: In fact, you can make a pretty damn good living at it. There’s this one dude, Abdul from Alhazred or whatever he calls himself…an English guy. He’s a pretty witty guy and he does it. There’s that Joe Burden guy. These guys are all makin’ good fuckin’ money off of this, you know!

WC: Makes me wonder what I’m doing wrong…(laughs)

MTC: They got this website where people sponsor these guys, eh? And they get a buck from each one of their sponsors every time they do a meme.  When you look at them, they have hundreds of thousands of people forking over money for it!

WC:  You know, another prime target for a spoof by you guys would be all these people using Kickstarter to finance everything in their life. “We want to form a band, so send us money and we’ll start a band.”

MTC: Oh yeah. Jesus Christ, that’s rich. I’ve been tempted to get a little puppy or something like that, eh? (laughs) The puppy’s gonna get it in the neck if you don’t send me money! I’ve heard of some people actually being successful with that, it’s ridiculous.  That’s like holding somebody for ransom, for Christ’s sake.

WC: It’s something that in your early days you could have never imagined that something like Kickstarter would ever happened.

MTC: Well, there’s never a shortage of ammo, that’s for sure. Or targets, either. 

WC: You guys have been playing for a good while now. Is there any new punk band you see that can take the torch from bands like you or The Casualties?

MTC: Every time I go out, I hear a lotta people sayin’ that, oh, punk’s dead. It’s all turned into a big corporate thing and it’s just another genre of pop music now. Well, in some ways that’s true, but boy, every time we go out, even in the smallest towns we play, there will always be some backup band, a local band that’s a bunch of little kids, and they’re just fuckin’ nailing it. They’ve got something completely new going on, I see it all the time. I think the nice thing about punk rock is that it opened up  a whole avenue for young bands that don’t have any experience but they may have some brilliantly creative idea. It gives them the chance to get up on the stage and do it. I’ve seen a couple like that recently. There’s this band from here in Victoria called the Nar Nars that are one of the funniest goddamn bands I’ve ever seen in my life. They really are quite hilarious. They’re very irreverent, they remind me of SNFU when they first started. It’s hard to put a finger on any individual band because there’s lots of good bands around, man. In fact, I’d say the talent is bigger now than it ever was.

WC: That’s good to hear, it’s very encouraging. Where I’m at, it seems to have dried up a lot. Very few real venues to play.

MTC: Here in Canada, it comes in waves. Right now we’ve got a lot of these DJs and electronic music who get big for a while because the clubs are supporting them and they’re a lot cheaper than a band or something like that. They only deal with one guy and they don’t need to have as much PA and it’s a lot easier for them. That crap seemed to go for quite a while and it looked like live music was drying up, but in the last couple of years, I’ve seen a return to real bands and real music. One of the big things with us is we try to do all-ages shows. That’s like farming. You try to plant a crop. Play a few all ages gigs and get the kids down to the shows and then four or five years later they’re filling bars for ya. When people see live music, there’s nothing like it. It’s got this power to it that the DJ just doesn’t have.

WC: I can’t see the appeal of hey everybody, come watch me press buttons on my laptop!

MTC: I think it’s got a lot to do with hey folks, come here and take some of this stuff and then watch me push buttons on my laptop! (laughs) Listen to all these weird noises we’re making. It’s more of a psychedelic drug trip or something like that. 

WC: This last Saturday night I saw a sold out show with Metal Church. They couldn’t get another person in the club. And I see their new record landed in the Top 100 chart, which is not what it used to be, but still…

MTC: Well, that’s encouraging.  Sometimes all it takes is one big live show in an area to really fire people up. Wow, that was something else, that’s what I wanna do! One of the things about playing music is even if you don’t do it in public or do it professionally is it is one of the biggest self-esteem building things you could ever do, eh? The moment you hear the song you written and recorded yourself played back for the first time…there’s absolutely nothing that compares to it. There’s no drug that comes close to it.  That’s one of the big problems that kids have today, a lack of self-esteem.

WC: There’s no outlets for true creativity. You just stare at a phone or play video games.

MTC: Yeah, yeah, yeah. OR sitting at your computer bitching at somebody for being too fat. One of the things that’s always been a big hill for punk rock to climb is that society’s kinda down on it, you know? They think, aw, these people are just troublemakers. They complain about everything and start riots and all this sort of shit. So they discourage it, but they’re forgetting what they were like when they were kids. Isn’t that what kids do…question authority?  You have to break down the old system and bring in the new one…every generation does it.

WC:  I hope that’s the way it works. This underground music keeps me feeling young. I’m in my 50’s but when I saw this Metal Church show, it makes you feel like you’re 18.

MTC: Me, too. When we play, I don’t feel my age until after the show! (chuckles) No, it keeps your mind young, it keeps you thinking about stuff, keeps you interacting with people all the time and getting in mental contests and arguing about politics and stuff.  It keeps your head sharp. That’s what it’s all about, you have to keep yourself healthy in mind and body. I’m doing pretty damn good. I’m 55 years old, I ride a bike 20 miles a day and play a 90 minute punk rock set as frequently as I possibly can.  Sure, I drink too much, I smoke, I do all kinds of shit that’s  not good for me but who wants to live forever anyway, you know? (laughs)

WC: What kind of touring support do you have lined up for the new album?

MTC:  We’re working really hard on that. We’re booked in May for Punk Rock Bowling in Vegas. We’re trying to get back in the States. We did a tour with Verbal Abuse a few years back and got caught just outside of Detroit without the proper Green Cards and so we’re going through immigration lawyers and a lot of forms and paperwork. We’ve got everything set so we should be good to go. Once we get into the States we’re going to book a coast to coast 2 month tour. We’re doing Canada in the summertime here.  Hopefully, come the fall, we’ll be coming down to the States for that coast to coast tour. We’ve been working with a promoter in the States who’s actually waited for us to get everything straight. We’ve got new management and the label is very gung-ho on us and giving us a lot of support. I think we’ll get at least 200 plus shows a year going on now. We’re very serious with it.

WC: With all the live shows you’ve been a part of, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen happen at a gig?

MTC: Craziest thing I’ve ever seen happen at a gig…there’s been some weird ones, you know? We played in Slovenia about ten or twelve years ago. It was way out in this little sheep town in the middle of nowhere. When we got to the town, the promoter told us “OK, Slovenia is a brand new country. The war between Serbia and Croatia is going on about 60 kilometers west of here. There’s another war going on with the Macedonians and I can’t remember who and that’s about 60 kilometers to the east.  There’s gonna be people from all of these countries who are gonna be here tonight. They’re going to be sneaking across the border, some of them will be walking hundreds of kilometers to get to this show. The one thing I got to tell you is, don’t let any of the Croats in! Don’t put any Croatians on your guest list because they’re a bunch of Nazi skinheads. They’re bad news, they got no money.” As we hear him saying this, we hear this singing and see a bunch of guys come walking around the corner with our old drummer Bonehead. He’s arm in arm with these guys and he yells “Man, you gotta meet these guys! They’re my friends, the Croatians!” (laughter)”They’re all on my guest list.” And we’re all looking at each other and going, holy fuck, look at these guys! This one dude had got his head caught in a meat separating machine at a dog food factory. It had grabbed the top of his head and peeled his scalp off. He had this big starfish looking wound, he had about 200 stitches holding his scalp on. His face was all infected looking and he was drinking this plum brandy shit that they have there. The promoter looks at us and says “When they say ‘you drink with me’, you HAVE to drink with them.  You can’t say no, that’s the worst insult on Earth. Whatever you do, don’t swallow the stuff! It’s got all this methyl alcohol in it. You’ll go blind and wake up in an insane asylum!” I’m looking at Bonehead and he’s just guzzling the shit down. (laughter) Oh Lordy this is going to be great! But they packed that show! They had it in this bombed out old bunker  and you couldn’t get off the stage through the audience. They made us play our entire set twice! We got to the end of the first set and they yelled “No, no, you drink with us! Go back and play it again!” So we played the whole set twice. They made us play “Argh! Fuck! Kill!” five times in a row…they’re all chanting Argh! Fuck! Kill! It turned out to be one of the best shows we ever played.

WC: And everybody got along, I’ll bet.

MTC: Yeah, yeah, it was unreal! We all got along really good and passed around this moonshine stuff. That was the gift the Russians gave to all the East Bloc countries….alcohol problems and Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. You’d see these guys with fishy eyes and weird faces all through that area…

WC: Any last words for the fans?

MTC: Well, lock your pets up, because we’re comin! I’m really lookin’ forward to heading down South again, too, it’s been too long. I got a lot of friends down there!