From the outskirts of the Great Dismal Swamp he crawled, shot forth from the loins of an
 unholy union between The Oak Ridge Boys and Howlin' Wolf, Steeleye Span and Black 
Sabbath, dirtying up 1972 and onwards with a zest for debauchery that continues to this 
very day. At the age of 13, while wandering the forests of his homeland, he was taken 
prisoner by the Slaytanic Wermacht, and subjected to the glorious, grueling torture of the 
Iron Maiden. Like a being Possessed, he embraced his captors of sin, joining the Kings
 Of Metal to one day into glory ride. At the Candlemass he worshiped, sought refuge
 from his Trouble in the Cathedral and began to inscribe his devotion to his new life on 
the printed page. Today, the primitive origins of his youth still hold sway, yet he fears not
 the use of any medium to spread this…the Gospel Of The Horns.