CENTRAL ILLINOIS METALFEST
Canopy Club, Urbana, Illinois
July 31/August 1, 2009
by Dr.
Abner Mality
Once
upon a time, there was an event on my yearly calendar that I looked
forward to with rapt anticipation. That was the annual Milwaukee
Metalfest held at various venues in Beertown. Longtime readers of
Wormwood will recall the detailed reports we used to do each year on
this epic gathering of the tribes. They will also recall the slow,
obvious decline of the festival from one of the best in the States to a
sad parody of itself, culminating in the horrendous debacles of 2004 and
2005. We can chalk up the demise of the once venerable event to a
greedy and clueless promoter.
Nevertheless, it was a huge gap in my social calendar. I genuinely
looked forward to the camaraderie of fellow freaks and degenerates such
as myself and in the last few years, I've keenly missed a similar
gathering.
This year, I have found the substitute at last! Erupting from the placid
cornfields of Central Illinois comes a new meeting of the
faithful...the Central Illinois Metalfest. Now the Fest has been going
strong the last couple of years, but alas, the stars were not in proper
alignment for me to attend. This year, though, everything lined up just
right. So the long drought was finally over...here was the gathering of
extreme metal scum that I had been looking for.
And who better to join the Good Doctor in this nefarious expedition than
Mistress Hydra, my garrulous blond cohort who has accompanied me to see
bands like Celtic Frost, Cannibal Corpse and Motorhead, amongst others?
Was the good Mistress ready to drive full blast into the depravity of
something like Central Illinois Metalfest? Well...kinda! I was only able
to get one day (Friday) out of her, but give the Swedish lass credit
for that...it's not every gal that has enough nerve to check out bands
with names like Sikfuk, Human Filleted and Goreaphobia!
It was a relaxing drive from Rockford down to Urbana. Call me nuts, but
driving through miles of rolling green cornfields and small farm towns
puts me in just the right frame of mind for a weekend such as this. God
couldn't have made a better day for the trip...mild temperatures, clear
skies, a light breeze. It was a pure relief to get out of the
construction-choked miasma of Rockford into the countryside...we rolled
past little towns with names like Paw Paw (home to scores of gigantic
wind turbines), Lostant and Minonk before hitting Urbana right about
noon.
The Canopy Club is right smack in the middle of the University of
Illinois. Only drawback to this is the proliferation of parking meters,
which originally had me ready to chew pavement. Fortunately Hydra came
up with a quick solution and I was spared the idiocy of running out of
the show every hour to feed the meters.
The CIM is nowhere near the scale of Milwaukee Metalfest at its most
manic. Just one stage and one floor, so none of the constant running up
and down stairs that marked my Milwaukee experiences. The venue was also
air conditioned and had a fully stocked bar. A nice place to see a
show.
First band we caught was Ezra, who were the second to play. This
gruesome threesome favored a mixture of sludge and blast and met wtih
approval from both Hydra and me. From there, we experienced the dulcet
tones of Human Filleted and Incinerate...both hardcore death metal to
the bone and beyond. It was already pretty obvious that the festival was
moving along smoothly, with each band pretty much playing in its
predetermined slot. This was rarely the case in Milwaukee, particularly
in the latter years. Hydra and me enjoyed the brutality of Human
Filleted but we came to the conclusion that death metal is for guys with
either long hair or a bald head. Three almost identical jocks with
baseball caps and black T-shirts doesn't make for an exciting visual
presentation.
I headed over to the Goatwhore merch booth to try and hook up with one
of the furry prostitutes, who would be playing much later in the
evening. We got a rather tired looking Ben Falgoust to agree to meet us
in the lobby around five o'clock for an interview. More on that later.
Success Will Write Apocalypse Across The Sky was the first "big" band to
play. These highly touted grinders have made a splash with their
merciless combination of Napalm Death grind and Tampa-style brutality.
They hit the stage like a tsunami and took no prisoners. Most notable
for me was their female bassist, who I find no mention of on their
Myspace or website. Not only was this gal EXTREMELY attractive but
plenty young to boot...we would see her later with Goatwhore in their
"revolving bassist" slot. She added a little flavor to a very
hard-hitting but rather by the numbers set from SWWAATS.
We returned to the lobby to meet Ben and waited for him to make an
appearance. And waited. And waited. Meanwhile, we could hear thrashers
Rumplestiltskin Grinder moshing with abandon. Well, the next time we saw
Ben was on the stage with Goatwhore. Sorry, Wormfans, no Goatwhore
interview...at least not one conducted face to face. I've got no hard
feelings, because shit happens at a big festival likes this, but I felt
bad for Hydra, who was longing to meet these longtime heroes of hers.
Chatted briefly with the grand old man of death metal, Mr. Paul Speckman
of Master, resplendent in a beard to rival any in ZZ Top. Paul manned
his own merch booth...he's the very soul of perserverance and DIY
grittiness. He was most approachable and friendly, but man, you do not
want to get on his bad side, as he gave the sound crew a fierce
tongue-lashing during Master's headlining set later.
The first truly awesome set of the day came courtesy of Relapse Records'
Abysmal Dawn. Their record "Programmed To Consume" was a monolithic
killer of classy American death metal. On stage, they absolutely did
justice to the record and delivered an incredibly tight and intense set
full of not only brutal heaviness but terrific melody and clever song
structures. If you are looking for the band to carry the torch of
Death's "Human", here they are. They were on a higher level than just
about everything else I saw this weekend. Do NOT miss any chance to see
them if they come your way!
Abysmal Dawn was a highlight but one of the fest's big surprises was up
next. I was familiar with the name of Daath but had passed them over
before...possibly due to the stigma of being on Roadrunner, a label with
a horrible record in recent years for spotting young extreme metal
talent. I will make no such mistake again. Now these guys weren't the
"sickest" or "most extreme" band to play this weekend and so if you were
looking for pig burping vocals and a "riff salad" approach to
songcraft, they were not the band to check out. However, if you like
powerful, well played extreme metal that mixed genres and tempos with
flair, this band should be on the top of your list. For the brief amount
of time they were on stage, Daath impressed the hell out of me and also
won over Hydra in a big way. An eclectic bunch, they combined a strong
oldschool thrash metal feeling with slices of doom and straight up metal
as well as the occasional dollop of blasting total death metal. A very
appealing melange, topped off with terrific lead soloing and a
professional stage presence. I couldn't tell you the names of the songs
Daath played, but I can tell you that they all stuck in my head. For my
money, they were the revelation of the CIM!
For those who felt Daath and Abysmal Dawn were a bit too "commercial"
(HAH!), relief was up next in the form of Malignancy. This is more of
what one would expect at the "sickest fest in the Midwest".
Ultra-brutal, ultra-technical gore metal with incomprehensible vocals
and most songs sounding interchangeable. They went down a storm with the
crowd. What I liked about these guys was the drier than a bone sense of
humor of lead vomiter Dan Nelson. This dude should be doing stand-up.
"Here's a track from our new album, if we ever find a label willing to
release it, " wise-cracked Dan. Nelson's funny business and interaction
with the crowd kept me entertained despite the lack of identifiable
songs in Malignancy's set.
I had no desire to see black metal/deathcore hybrid Abigail Williams
next. They didn't belong on the fest in my opinion and I don't think too
many of the faithful would have disagreed that they stuck out like a
sore thumb with their ultra-modern, keyboard heavy style. They may have
knocked the house down for all I know...I was outside hanging with my
buddies Cardiac Tom and Adam from Chicago's grisliest band, Cardiac
Arrest. These guys are always a hoot and quite a bit of the weekend was
spent discussing the finer points of horror films and other bits of pop
culture with them. Incidentally, I made the discovery that about half of
Urbana's population seems to be Chinese. I saw more Chinese people this
weekend than if I would have went to Beijing. If the white man's star
is declining in the middle of the Illinois cornfields, then there is no
hope for European civilization...
Got back in time to see an underground legend in Goreaphobia. I missed
these dudes back in the day so my interest in checking them out was
high. All I can say is that I was so impressed by their "100% extreme
occult metal" that I went right over to the Ibex Moon booth and bought
their new record "Mortal Repulsion". These guys plays oldschool
death/black metal just the way I like it, with a lot of different tempos
and strong riffs. The spiky leather bondage outfit of lead
singer/bassist Chris Gamble (also of Bloodstorm fame) made me think that
the Exalted Piledriver had been a last minute addition...I liked the
outfit myself, it made a nice contrast with the virtually identical
"black T shirt with indecipherable logo and combat shorts" look of most
of the rest of the bands playing CIM. A cross between Celtic Frost, old
Morbid Angel and Incantation, Goreaphobia was a winner with both me and
Hydra.
We were both starting to run out of gas, but Goatwhore, arguably the
most successful band on the whole festival, was up next and were not to
be missed. I wish that Ben Falgoust could have said the same of us...ah
well, can't win 'em all. As for the band themselves, they are a seasoned
and road-tested unit that delivered a blistering set that leaned
heavily on the new album "Carving Out the Eyes of God". For some reason,
their regular bass player wasn't with them this evening, so his place
was taken by a rotating array of "guest bassists", the first of whom was
the fetching Sally from SWWAATS. Kinda strange seeing a lady play with a
band named "Goatwhore" but such paradoxes abound in a situation like
this. She was replaced by Jeremy from Daath and finally the bassist from
Abigail Williams. The rotating bassist thing brought some freshness to
the proceedings and new tracks like "Apocalyptic Havoc" (which Ben
dedicated to pioneers like Venom, Celtic Frost and Motorhead) and
"Shadow of a Rising Knife" tore everybody a new one.
By now, ol' Hydra had finally reached her limit. She was a real trooper
at her first real underground metalfest, but the long day and endless
procession of blasting bands had taken its toll. She headed to the upper
level, found a chair and pretty much collapsed. Due to the friendly
greeting he gave me earlier in the day, I felt it was my duty to stick
around to check out Paul Speckman and at least some of Master's set.
Unfortunately, the monitors picked this time to rebel and slowed down
things even more. The veteran's veteran, Speckman doesn't put up with
much bullshit. "I hate to be a bitch, but I can't play without any
goddamn monitors, "he groused and who can blame him? The situation was
never totally resolved, but Master soldiered on and I caught the first
four songs of their set, which leaned heavily on their latest "Slaves to
Society" release. Master are as straightforward and no frills as you
can get...those into super-busy or technical death metal probably
weren't too impressed but those old dogs like me who like a good solid
kick in the head were and Paul has a really sick vocal sound.
Thus ended the first day of Central Illinois Metalfest 2009...
Day 2 saw Hydra depart for another whirlwind party as part of her madcap
vacation
tour. I brushed a tear from my eye as she departed, even though she
managed to tell me "I've got news for you...you snore...you saw logs".
Maybe I won't miss her that much after all...
Had a good breakfast at the Cracker Barrel across the street...more
Chinese people lurking everywhere. I usually dislike chain restaurants,
but I always make an exception for Cracker Barrel...they really do seem
homey and cheerful to me. With plenty of time to kill, I drove around
beautiful downtown Urbana and stumbled on something unexpected...a
combination farmer's market/art show that was completely free and
drawing a huge crowd. Lotsa cool stuff on display...if I hadn't have
just ate, I surely would have bought some of the many homegrown
delicacies offered, some by Amish folks from nearby communities. I
wondered what those simple folk would have made of the bone-breaking
blasphemy I was to experience later in the day.
Then it was back to the madness of the Canopy Club and three brutal
bands to kick things off the right way. Dysentery was a dose of grinding
fury as cuddly and pleasant as its namesake, Disfigured was an
impressive young band of Tex-Mexicans who favored a traditional form of
Cannibal Corpse/Dying Fetus/Diabolic style of pure death metal and the
utterly grotesque Necrotic Disgorgement managed to be the most repulsive
band so far. Very much in the vein of the previous night's Malignancy,
they offered more pig squealing, mush-mouthed fun with lyrics inspired
by scatology and sexual perversion. I didn't find their music to be
memorable in the least, but this is the kind of band most of the fans
here expected to see.
That couldn't be said for the next band, a young thrash band from
Washington, D.C. by the name of Fierce Allegiance. Substituting for
grindcore heroes Strong Intention, these guys pulled the short straw of
the day as far as sets went. Coming in between Necrotic Disgorgement and
Sikfuk, their melodic and modern thrash metal seemed an awkward fit. At
the worst, the band came across like Trivium, but at their best, they
put on a powerful display of aggressive music with some sweet
Maiden-inspired twin guitar melodies. Not exactly what fans were
expecting, but a few brave souls such as myself were inspired to get up
to the front and show support. I for one found them to be refreshing on a
day dominated by the grossest excesses of death metal. One of which was
up next...
The phenomena of one man death metal bands reared its ugly head with
some "fine ass tard grind" courtesy of Minnesota's Sikfuk. On this
occasion, Sikfuk was Nik Blanton accompanied by a guitar and a laptop.
This stuff is so ridiculous, it's brilliant. The "songs" themselves are
indecipherable and impossible to differentiate but it's Blanton's vocals
that provide the entertainment. Every song's lyrics can basically be
described as sounding like this:
"WEEEE-WEEE-ReeeREEEE...WUKKAWUKA...REE-REE...SNORTTTT..WUKKA WEE REE".
After a while, your brain disconnects from hearing it as vocals....it
seems more like ultra-guttural "scat singing" like a death metal Cab
Calloway or Ella James. "Scat" singing takes a double meaning here,
because most of Sikfuk's songs seem to revolve around shit to some
degree. This stuff is impossible to take seriously as any kind of music
but it does have some degree of entertainment value and Blanton himself
seems to be in on the joke.
Chicago's underrated Dead For Days followed this weird display with
their brutal but far more conventional attack. Monitor problems plagued
their set as well but they soldiered on and made the most of it.
Bloodsoaked was another "one man band" but quite a different one than
Sikfuk or the later Putrid Pile. It's the brainchild of one Peter
Hasselbrack, a man utterly devoted to classic oldschool death metal in
the old Incantation/Obituary/Morbid Angel style. If Pete gets himself a
real band, watch out! Bloodsoaked delivered some great oozing, doomy
riffs that stuck in the head firmly....the slow stalking crawl of
"Existence Denied" in particular was outstanding and Pete's vocals,
while grim and extremely brutal, were not ridiculous in the Necrotic
Disgorgement or Malignancy vein. I met Pete later and got a copy of the
latest Bloodsoaked disc "Sadistic Deeds...Grotesque Memories" from him. A
nice guy who is death metal to the core and who needs to get a serious
band together.
;)
The rumbling of my empty stomach was starting to get scarier than some
of the vocal belches I'd already heard so I left the venue for a bit in
search of chow ( a good place to mention that the Canopy Club's lenient
reentry policies were definitely appreciated). I didn't have far to
look. A fancy upscale bistro, The Bread Company, was right next door,
complete with yuppies dining on expensive dishes and sipping fine wine. I
figured, what the hell, why not enjoy a true dining experience? I enjoy
good food as much as loud metal so I sat outside dressed in my bloody,
stained lab coat and wearing my County Medical Examiners T-shirt,
causing some unease amongst the humanoids there. A cute as a button
waitress asked if I would be dining and also if I had come from a GWAR
concert. "No, just a few too many accidents in the lab," I quipped. I
ordered the portobello and mixed green salad with goat cheese and
roasted red pepper sauce as well as a bowl of baked onion soup. They
were both great and made a nice contrast to the greasy pizza and chips
I'd been living on. Good food and disgusting death metal...a great
combination!
However, while I was noshing outside, something amazing was happening
back in the Club and I was missing it. The Italian band Blasphemer, by
far the most farflung of the fest's participants, were tearing the place
apart. I got back inside to catch the last couple of songs of their set
and these Italian dudes were getting a reaction that dwarfed any seen
so far, with a raging pit exploding on the floor. Their last song
brought a huge chant of "One more song! One more song!" It was a
phenomenal reception...from what I saw, these guys played very tight
ultra-brutal death metal wit h the required guttural vocals. Dunno what
triggered the frenzied response, but it's fair to say Blasphemer was the
sleeper hit of the festival.
Just to prove that chicks could grind, Fuck the Facts from Eastern
Canada was up next with their pixie-like lead screamer Mel Mongeon, who
has an uncanny resemblance to my old pal Denyse. Though barely weighing
in at 100 pounds, Mel was all over the place while FTF delivered an
intense set that was flavored with some slower and more dissonant
moments. This was grindcore/extreme metal with an intellectual bent to
it.
Any pretense to intellect went out the fuckin' door in a hurry when the
degenerate slimeballs of Waco Jesus played next. Hands down, these guys
had the most entertaining show of the entire weekend. Never ones to take
things seriously for even a moment, the veteran scumgrinders did a
perfect parody of cock rock/Van Halen/hair metal cliches while
unleashing some of the most furious and intense grindcore in the scene. I
mean, really, why have the labels dropped the ball with these guys?
Admittedly, the cover to their debut record was the most revolting and
appalling ever, but that was years ago and the guys have mellowed to a
kinder, gentler kind of scum. Fer Christsakes, they even covered up the
model's tits on the cover of their latest "Sex, Drugs and Deathmetal"!
Singer Diamond Shane is awesome. Imagine a cross between David Lee Roth,
Axl Rose and Dice Clay that grunts and growls like Cannibal's
Corpsegrinder or Napalm's Barney. Shane brings the sleaze in hilarious
fashion...when he asked what chick in the audience would have sex with
him, he said "Sure enough, it's a fat chick who answers first!". Later,
he made this diatribe: "I hear that Ben from Goatwhore was just voted
the sexiest guy in extreme metal. Well, I...don't...THINK...SO!" All in a
King Diamond falsetto while thrusting his hips...
Throw in confetti bombs, Accept-like synchronized headbanging,
phenomenal drummer Sleazy Jonny B. going nuts with drumsticks that had
to be four feet long and a mysterious "Cousin Itt" coming out to sing
along and you had a gig that would put a smile on even Bill O'Reilly's
face. But behind the fun lies a killing machine that blasts and blasts
and blasts in a fashion to make vintage Nasum envious. Do NOT miss these
crazy motherfuckers when they come to your town!
After the Jesus laid waste to Canopy Club, I decided to hang out in the
courtyard while porn-grinders Lividity played. It's not that I disliked
these guys, it was just that I was getting a little burned out and Waco
was such a hard act to follow. While I was sitting contentedly in the
courtyard surrounded by forty or fifty of my closest friends whom I had
never met before this weekend, it occurred to me that there was no other
place I would rather be than Central Illinois Metalfest. I heard a
great quote from the grizzled head of security who was in charge of the
event: "You guys are the worst metalheads I've ever seen! You've got no
hostility!" That says it all.
Next came the last...and the wildest...of the one man death metal bands,
Putrid Pile. I must admit, I judged PP wrong. I was expecting something
along the lines of Sikfuk. Instead, Shaun LaCanne delivered one of the
most intense sets of the weekend. The thing that really makes Putrid
Pile stand out is the sheer power and slamming intensity of LaCanne's
riffing...this guy is a riff machine. Bespectacled and rather mild
looking, he cranked out some awesomely crunchy death riffs with real
catchiness. Vocally, he was just about as over the top as Sikfuk's
Brenton, with even more pig-like SQUEEEEALLS and guttural grumbles. The
drum machine was its usual mechanical self, but it was Putrid Pile's
brutal and energetic riffing, along with a few smoking solos, that kept
interest high. Shaun got a very strong response from the crowd and it's
obvious there's a definite audience for this kind of mayhem.
I'd already been treated to some pretty offensive bands this weekend.
Well, the spiritual godfather of them all was up next: Anal Cunt. Nobody
yet has found a way to top the brilliant simplicity of that simple
name: Anal Cunt. It is the clarion call to crude debauchery and rotgut
obnoxiousness. Not exactly a fan, I was still curious to see them. A.C.
frontman and arguably the most despised man in extreme metal Seth Putnam
brought his troops to unsuspecting Urbana and pretty much trashed
everything in sight. I knew that Seth had suffered a very debilitating
stroke a couple of years back and it was pretty obvious he was still
feeling the effects. Visibly not well, he kind of stumbled around the
stage in a stupor, but when he grabbed the mike, the testicle-rupturing
screams of old were in full force. They say the screams are the last
thing to go...
Did Putnam live up to his legend? Well, he asked the crowd, "How many of
you faggots voted for Obama? Well, here's a song about the REAL choice
in politics, called "I Voted For Hitler!" Surprisingly, this was one of
the real "songs" that Anal Cunt played, with actual slam and groove. In
one of the most telling moments, Seth said, "Here's a song for all of
you, called "All of Our Fans Are Gay"! Yup, it was an A.C. gig, alright.
Due to Seth's slurring, I couldn't catch most of the other song titles,
but I'm hoping they slipped either "Connor Clapton Committed Suicide
Because His Dad's Music Sucked" or the immortal "Otis Sistrunk" in
there. With Anal Cunt, what you see...and hear...is what you get.
Age was catching up to me, creeping into my bones. I was about shot
after many hours of extreme metal brutality and opted to spend the rest
of the fest in the high seats above the main floor. I was close to the
end of my endurance....
Next was Vital Remains, the Satanic epic death metal legends from Rhode
Island. They were minus their notorious frontman Glen Benton, also of
Deicide, tonight and that omission hurt them pretty badly. His place was
taken by Scott Wiley, who, aside from his awesome studded wristbands,
left little impression on me. Maybe it was just burnout, but Vital
Remains didn't seem to be much more than a typical death metal band to
me. This is excluding their current drummer Kaish Doane, who was a
ferocious whirlwind not far off former skinbeater Tim Yeung in terms of
speed and power. The band's music was always longwinded on record and it
became rather tedious live. Maybe it was an offnight, but many of the
opening bands seemed to have more fire.
My own fire had gone out after Vital Remains. Only the mighty Immolation
was left but I decided to throw in the towel and head back to the hotel
before somebody had to carry me out with a block and tackle. Immolation
I have seen before and they always delivered a powerful set of furious
but tasteful death metal...vocalist Ross Dolan in particular is one of
the greatest death growlers ever. Earlier in the evening, I had
hobnobbed a bit with Immolation guitarist Bob Vigna as well as John and
Jill McEntee of Incantation/Ibex Moon Records....another highlight in a
weekend full of them.
I had gotten just about everything I wanted and more from the Central
Illinois Metalfest. This gig really recharged my batteries and brought
the Dr. Mality of old back to life. Sure, I missed the Goatwhore
interview, but there will be another day! A gathering like this, shunned
by mainstream society, is an explosion of camaraderie that bonds us
misfits together in a brotherhood of steel. I salute all my
brothers...and sisters...of the CIM and plan to return next year.
Until that happy day....stay sick, one and all!
|
